


we could stop running (back to where we started)

by therestisconfetti



Series: little italy [2]
Category: American Horror Story
Genre: F/F, Little Italy AU, two pining and wildly competitive idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-10-19 17:49:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20661269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisconfetti/pseuds/therestisconfetti
Summary: Still being in love with Madison a whole five years later would be absolutely ridiculous. Zoe’s definitely not in love with her; she’s just having some resurfacing memories, that’s all. It’s normal, she figures, to be somewhat out of sorts when an old flame comes back into her life.or: the little italy au maybe like one person asked for and is (finally) receiving





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> lol so this idea came to me a while ago after I watched little italy and I think an anon popped up in my inbox one day suggesting it, and well, here it is waaaaaay after the fact. it follows the plot of Little Italy (the movie featuring Emma Roberts, if you didn't know - super cheesy but cute nonetheless) for the most part, obviously liberties taken to fit the mold of Zoe and Madison :)))

When the plane lands on the familiar runway of Louis Armstrong International Airport, Zoe lets out a quiet sigh.

On one hand, landing in New Orleans still feels like coming home. This is the city that raised her, that nurtured her love of history with its own rich roots and endless sea of cultures. This is where she’s lived most of her life, where everything somehow doesn’t change too much even when she’s gone.

But on the other hand, there’s a heaviness that settles in her at all the familiar sights and feelings. She’d run away from this place, from New Orleans and the people she knew so well. When the opportunity to start a new life in London fell in her lap, she took it and ran, not once looking back.

Being away for five years doesn’t change any of that.

Zoe quietly reminds herself that she’s not staying. She won’t get wrapped up in all the things she once knew, the things that used to make her heart sing. She’s here for a reason: her job. She’ll only be here long enough to get what she needs, that’s all.

Stepping off the plane and into the terminal is relieving in a way. It’s as if she’s been holding in a deep breath the whole day, from the moment she’d woken up to now. Of course, she’s exhausted, but something about knowing she’s back in New Orleans is enough to light up her expression.

Without even thinking about it, she sets forth towards the baggage claim and pick up area, taking in all the little things that remind her she’s home. She bites her lip, briefly thinking about the last time she’d been in this airport five years ago.

When she steps onto the escalator, she brings her focus back to the present. As she descends down to baggage claim and pickup, she looks around for a familiar face. It hardly even takes a moment before she spots her best friend in the crowd, locking eyes with her at the exact same moment.

“Zoe!”

Zoe knows the smile on her best friend’s face probably mirrors the one on her own lips.

Mallory is always a good reason to come home.

As soon as she hits the bottom floor, Zoe is taking big steps to meet Mallory halfway. She lets go of her carry on to wrap her arms around Mallory in a tight embrace. The sound of Mallory’s pure and joyful laughter in her ear is enough to fill Zoe’s heart.

Mallory is one of Zoe’s best friends, and even though leaving New Orleans meant leaving her, she knows with Mallory she’s always welcome home.

“Hey Mal,” she greets softly as she pulls away.

“I’m so happy you’re home,” Mallory gushes, looking Zoe up and down. “You look so good! London’s been treating you well.”

Zoe laughs, wrapping an arm around Mal’s shoulders while she grabs her carry on. “Facetimes can only work for so long, I guess.”

Mallory beams in agreement, walking with Zoe towards the exit. “You look like you could use a drink.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Zoe laughs.

* * *

Coven’s is just as she remembers, save for a few fix ups here and there. Queenie’s really made this place her own with the decorations and furniture. Zoe can’t stop the smile that finds her lips when she looks around, the feeling of familiarity and  _ home _ tugging at her heart as she familiarizes herself with this bar all over again.

“Zoe!”

She spins in time to be wrapped up in Coco’s embrace. Laughing, she gives the blonde a hug back.

“Coco, so good to see you,” Zoe tells her when they part.

Coco smiles knowingly. “London’s stolen you away from us, hasn’t it?”

Zoe can only laugh, giving Coco’s shoulder a squeeze. “You know I love you guys.”

Coco nods and her eyes tell Zoe that she does in fact know. She knows Zoe had to leave for her own reasons, but it’s evident in the way her eyes shine that she’s happy Zoe is finally home.

“Come on,” Coco says suddenly, tugging at Zoe’s wrist. “Let’s go say hi to Queenie.”

A grin spreads wide on her face. Queenie had been one of her good friends growing up. They’d somehow ended up in the same circles and despite the girl’s very outgoing attitude, she and Zoe got along well together.

Queenie is entertaining conversation with a few of her customers when Zoe spots her.

“Hey, Queenie,” Zoe says loudly.

Queenie spins expectantly, probably assuming it’s another customer or one of her bartenders, but a surprised expression grows on her face when she sees Zoe.

“Hey girl!” she exclaims excitedly, stepping away from her customers and pulling Zoe into a big hug. “You’re back!”

Zoe laughs. “Just for a little. I’m just working on some historic backgrounds for my novel.”

“Oh so you’re big time now,” Queenie teases. “Our very own novelist.”

Zoe shrugs, flushing just a little. “I mean, it’s just a first draft, but-”

“She’s  _ amazing, _ ” Mallory gushes, cutting her best friend off. “Just wait til you hear her novel outline.”

“She’s being dramatic,” Zoe insists, rolling her eyes. “But I’m glad to be home.”

“Well it’s good to see you,” Queenie assures her. “Surprised you haven’t adopted the British accent.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Zoe snorts, rolling her eyes.

Queenie nudges her playfully and says, “Go ahead and have anything at the bar. It’s on me, girl.”

“Thanks Queenie,” Coco pipes up with a grin.

Queenie only chuckles, shaking her head before she turns back to her previous conversation.

“Wow come home more often so we can get free drinks all the time,” Mallory teases.

Coco approves her jab with a laugh, high fiving her best friend.

Zoe rolls her eyes at her friends, taking a seat at the bar. Coco and Mallory quickly follow suit, smiles way too big. She brushes it off though, figuring it’s just the fact she’s home for the first time in five years and Mallory and Coco have always been a little odd when they’re together, like they’re always scheming.

She looks for a bartender, frowning when there seems to be no one on the other side. She turns her head, about to call out to Queenie and ask her how the hell she’s supposed to get a drink that isn’t a beer when blonde hair catches her eye.

Zoe freezes, and for a moment she feels like she’s never left.

Her eyes fall on none other than Madison Montgomery. Laughter falls from her lips, and though Zoe can’t hear it from here, she knows the sound like it’s been etched in her memory for as long as she can remember. She’s by the pool table, entertaining probably everyone in the surrounding area. She reaches out and touches someone’s arm gently, a move Zoe’s seen her pull off time and time again, and a hand comes dangerously low on her back.

Madison’s always been good at that - commanding everyone’s presence. She’s always been able to grasp someone’s attention with as little as a look.

Zoe would know.

Madison’s eyes flutter over, like she knows she’s being watched, and when she meets Zoe’s gaze her laughter fades. She’s clearly surprised when she recognizes Zoe, not at all expecting her here. Zoe can’t really blame her; it’s been five years. Zoe holds her breath, wondering what comes next. Madison’s whole expression softens for a moment, but then she’s pushing off the pool table and making her way around the bar.

Zoe wastes no time turning to Coco and Mallory, who look gleeful at the sequence of events.

“You guys knew she was going to be here,” Zoe accuses both of them.

They only look at her for a second before they’re grinning widely with giggles scattered between them.

Coco shrugs. “Whoops, guess we forgot to mention she works here part time as a favor for Queenie.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Zoe scoffs, rolling her eyes before narrowing them at Mallory. “You totally planned this.”

Mallory smirks and asks, “Would I be your best friend if I didn’t make this happen?”

“You’re the fucking worst,” she deadpans, but she’s biting back a smile as she says it.

Her attention is only taken away because Mallory and Coco are looking over Zoe’s shoulder, and Zoe turns to find Madison approaching them. Madison still carries the aura of confidence with her as she walks, coming to a slow stop right in front of Zoe on the other side of the bar.

Zoe faces her, trying not to look so breathless because Madison Montgomery is just as beautiful and wickedly charming as she remembers.

Madison turns her attention to the other two.

“Are you going to introduce me to your friend?” she asks with a smirk.

Zoe shakes her head, biting back a smile as Madison meets her gaze again.

Madison Montgomery is as smooth and mischievous as Zoe remembers her. Her lips form a delighted smile and Zoe tries not to swoon.

“You from around here?”

Zoe tilts her head, eyes lighting up as she answers back with, “Do I look like I’m from around here?”

Madison chuckles, shaking her head. “No actually, you look way to sober to be in here.”

Zoe can’t help but laugh at that, ignoring the way Mallory and Coco look on with eager expressions.

“Can I get you a drink?” Madison asks.

“You can get me one,” Mallory pipes up, giving Madison a grin. “Or six.”

Madison only rolls her eyes, letting out a soft laugh. “The last thing we need is for Cordelia up my ass about how you ended up passing out at the bar  _ I _ work at.”

Mallory snorts at that, but doesn’t argue.

“She’s not my actual mother you know,” Mallory reminds her.

Madison raises her eyebrows at her and says, “She’s not mine either.”

Zoe chuckles quietly at the two of them, the two girls who ended up in Cordelia’s care for different reasons. God forbid anyone  _ actually  _ thought they were sisters by blood.

Madison pours all four of them a shot of tequila - Zoe’s pretty sure it’s because Madison knows she  _ hates _ tequila - and hands them out. She hands Zoe’s over and says, “String bean.”

Zoe looks at her, resisting the urge to roll her eyes, but she can see with Madison’s smirk that the blonde knows exactly what she’s doing. She holds up her shot glass.

“Cheers!” Mallory and Coco exclaim as they knock their shots back.

Madison and Zoe hold onto each others gazes for a moment before Madison knocks her own shot back, nice and easy just like she’s always been with her alcohol. Zoe holds her shot glass in hand, watching Madison like she’s completely mesmerized.

“Are you playing it safe now?” Madison asks when she notices Zoe still hasn’t taken her shot. Her voice makes it sound like a challenge, and her eyes are daring, as if trying to see if this is still the Zoe she knows.

Zoe takes the bait - she somehow  _ always _ does when it comes to Madison - and knocks back her shot, ignoring the burn of her throat and never taking her eyes off of Madison. Madison looks pleased, and Zoe can’t help the way she responds.

“I’m not playing anything,” she says casually, and by the way Madison looks intrigued, she knows she’s falling into the same game they’ve always played.

“Right,” Madison hums.

Zoe quirks an eyebrow. “Are you still living with Cordelia?”

Mallory snickers beside Zoe as Madison rolls her eyes.

“She lives with me girl,” Queenie says, suddenly appearing next to Madison. “Not the worst roommate I’ve had, I guess.”

Madison scoffs and hip checks Queenie, who makes her way around Madison with a laugh.

“Still modeling and acting to get by?” 

Madison gives her a smile, the one that comes with a mischievous look in her eyes as she says, “You been keeping track of my career, babe?”

Both Zoe and Mallory roll their eyes for that one.

“So,” Zoe hums, placing her shot glass down on the bar top. “Who’s kicking your ass at soccer these days?”

Madison laughs, reaching out to grab the shot glasses from the bar. “I don’t play anymore. You know that.”

Zoe smirks and responds, “Yeah, only because I kept kicking your ass.”

Coco and Mallory snicker beside Zoe, and Madison pauses in her movements to scoff.

“We both know that’s not true,” Madison tells her with a chuckle.

“It is,” Zoe insists, feeling just a little bit of that shot now. “And I can still kick your ass now.”

Madison raises her eyebrows. “Is that a challenge?”

Zoe’s lips turn into a slight smirk, one she’s learned from Madison after all these years. Mallory and Coco look on eagerly, and they’ve grabbed the attention of a few others surrounding the bar.

“What do you think it is, you brat?”

* * *

Madison cannot believe she is standing outside in the pouring rain  _ willingly. _

More importantly, she cannot believe she’s outside in the pouring rain at the soccer field down the street with a soccer ball at her feet.

Zoe Benson’s been back in town for less than two hours and Madison is already losing it.

She’s standing in the goal, just as soaked as Madison is, in her dumb cute outfit that had thrown Madison for a loop when she’d first spotted Zoe across the bar.

Madison hates how she still looks effortlessly adorable and not like a rat in this rain.

“You’ve been gone too long,” Madison says loudly over the rain, loud enough for Zoe and their little audience to the side. “Someone needs to knock you back down.”

Zoe laughs, melodic and sweet just like Madison remembers. “I think it’s the other way around.”

“Okay!” Queenie bellows, loud so everyone can hear. She’s situated under an umbrella that someone else holds, a bottle of tequila in one hand and two shot glasses in another. “If Madison makes it, Zoe takes a shot. If Zoe saves it, Madison takes a shot.”

Once again, Madison cannot believe she’s out here in the rain on a field she hasn’t been on in years across from the girl she used to play here with.

“This is insane!” Zoe yells out, her eyes focused on Madison.

Madison smirks, lifting her shoulders for a shrug. “You’re still out here anyway.”

Zoe gives her a look for that, and Madison recognizes it right away. It’s the look Zoe always gives her, the one that says somehow this is Madison's fault, that she doesn’t quite want to admit Madison’s right. Madison can’t stop the smile on her face from appearing at that look.

Her chest twitches just a little, reminding her that it’s nice to have Zoe home.

All in all, this idea was absolutely terrible.

Even though Madison starts off strong - and with a smug smirk paired with every goal she makes - Zoe makes a few saves and before they know it they’re both way too deep into tequila shots.

It never ends, shot after shot until they’re taking shots together. They grab onto each other giggling; Zoe’s face is flushed and her hair is wet and limp, but Madison is still breathless at the sight of her.

Five years has done nothing but good for Zoe.

Thunder cracks through the sky and everyone begins to scatter. They all run away, finding either their cars or making it back to the bar.

“Later bitches!” Queenie calls, throwing up a peace sign before running back towards her bar.

Madison and Zoe are still wrapped up in each other and laughter, Madison’s arm wrapped around Zoe’s waist. Zoe is leaning into her, giggles still going and it seems like she hasn’t even noticed that everyone else is gone.

“I think I need to sit,” Zoe says between her giggles. “Let’s sit on the ground.”

Madison lets out a soft chuckle, and at this point she’s too drunk to care that the ground is wet and covered in mud, doing just as Zoe has asked.

Their laughter finally subsides, and they’re left smiling at eachother like idiots. It’s only now that Madison really soaks up Zoe - soaking wet and all - and how she’s really here, back home in New Orleans, and not living a completely different life without her in London.

Madison would never admit this to anyone else, hardly even to herself, but Zoe has always meant more to her than she’s lead on.

And Zoe is smiling at her like she used to, like when they were dumb teenagers without a care in the world. Madison feels her stomach tighten and for once she knows it’s not the alcohol trying to find a way to come back up.

Zoe tilts her head just a little, and Madison holds her breath. She wonders if this is it, if this is what she’s longed for.

But it only lasts for an agonizing moment before Zoe face falls forward and right into Madison’s lap.

Madison sighs, hand coming up to rub Zoe’s back. She shouldn’t be so surprised

“It’s okay, String bean,” she says more for herself. “I’ve got you.”

* * *

The soft sunlight seeps in through the windows above the bed as Zoe’s eyes flutter open.

After blinking a few times, Zoe begins to adjust to her surroundings. The sheets feel unfamiliar to her, as does this whole bedroom. Her lips turn into a slight frown and when she shifts around in the bed to get a better look at her surroundings, she realizes that there is nothing between her skin and the sheets.

The realization stuns her, eyes wide as she quickly sits up pushing her back against the pillows and the headboard. She pulls the sheets apart from her body long enough to confirm that she is indeed not wearing clothes. A gasp falls from her lips, and she probably looks like a deer caught in headlights, but for the life of her she can’t figure out where she is.

She tries to remember the events that led her here, who she was even with, but all she can remember is the bar then the rain and Madison downing shots with her.

As if on cue, Madison enters in nothing more than an oversized t-shirt and tousled hair.

Oh, _ fuck. _

“Morning String Bean,” Madison greets looking somewhat smug as she strolls into the room with two coffee mugs in hand. “You look like shit.”

Zoe watches her carefully, her voice caught in her throat. She’s internalizing her panic the best she can, trying not to have a full on freak out while she’s wrapped up in Madison’s sheets. Madison casually makes her way to the bed, taking a seat on the other side.

She offers Zoe one of her coffee mugs, and Zoe gratefully takes it. When she takes a whiff, she tries not to think too hard about how it’s the coffee they’ve been drinking since college, that Madison still mixes it with hazelnut creamer, just how she likes it.

“How’s that hangover?” Madison asks, the tease evident in her voice.

Zoe shakes her head. “No hangover,” she lies. “Just...jet lag.”

“Yeah, me too,” Madison mocks before she’s taking a sip out of her own mug.

Zoe takes a long sip of her mug and looks around, taking in Madison’s apartment. Although Zoe’s never seen it before now, the place absolutely screams Madison Montgomery. From the random clothes - mostly black - laying around to the way it somehow feels modern but old-school homey, Zoe can’t imagine Madison living anywhere else.

“So,” she begins carefully, one hand holding the sheets against the front of her body. “We should probably talk about...last night?”

“Mhmm,” Madison nods behind her coffee mug.

“And what happened...?” Zoe adds, looking from Madison to different spots of the room, trying to find any clues - or her clothes, for that matter.

“What can I say,” Madison answers with a shrug. “It was quite the night.”

Something in Zoe’s stomach twists as she thinks she’s pieced it all together. Her hand flies up to her forehead as she grows more distressed.

“Oh my god,” she almost whines.

Madison chuckles. “Yeah, you were saying that a lot last night.”

Zoe looks at Madison, hand still on her forehead as she says, “Oh my god, no.”

She places her coffee mug gently on the mattress, sure it won’t fall before she’s running both hands through her hair.

“Mallory’s going to kill me,” she mumbles. “Oh my god I slept with her step sister.”

“We’re not even  _ real _ step sisters,” Madison reminds her, clearly unbothered.

Zoe hardly even registers her comment as she shakes her head frantically announcing, “I’m going to join a convent.”

Madison snorts. “They’re not gonna let you in.”

Zoe lets out an actual whine this time, sinking against the headboard as she mumbles to herself with her head in her hands.

Madison, however, finally takes pity on her and leans over, shaking Zoe’s knee gently.

“Hey relax dumb ass,” she tells Zoe, waiting until Zoe meets her gaze. “Nothing happened last night.”

Zoe stops, pulling her hands away from her face. “Nothing?”

Madison shakes her head, a teasing eye roll mixed in as she explains, “You passed out and I brought you back here.”

She slips off the bed wanders out the open door to the kitchen a few feet away. Zoe lets out a silent sigh of relief, her shoulders dropping as she lets the back of her head meet the headboard.

“I let you sleep in my bed and I slept on the couch,” Madison continues, and throws a look back at Zoe. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

Zoe frowns, peering at the ground around the bed. “What happened to my clothes?”

“Hey,” Madison says, throwing her hands up. “You were in your soaking wet clothes when I left you there. What you did with them is your fault.”

Zoe lets out a frustrated groan, wrapping the sheets tightly around her body before she steps out of bed, searching the floor for her clothes. Madison holds back a chuckle and turns, placing the mugs in the sink.

When her clothes are nowhere to be found, Zoe lets out a quiet sigh and grabs the first shirt she sees from the hook by Madison’s closet. She pulls the long sleeve over her head, tossing the sheets back towards the bed. She adjusts the shirt over her body, knowing Madison’s love for sleeping and lounging in oversized tops. It’s not until her fingers skim across her neck that she realizes her necklace is missing.

Panicked, she speaks up, “Have you seen my-”

Madison appears in the doorway again, Zoe’s necklace dangling from her hand. Zoe lets out a soft sigh of relief, taking it out of Madison’s grasp when she comes closer.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, putting it back on.

Madison slightly smirks. “You left it in my lap.”

Zoe gapes at her, and it looks like she’s about to say something, but instead shakes her head. “You know what, nevermind. Where’s your bathroom?”

Madison laughs quietly, nodding towards the closed door on the other end of the room. Zoe gives her a small smile before she heads in that direction. She waits until she starts to open the door that she turns around.

She finds Madison’s eyes drifted down where her shirt ends on Zoe’s backside. It makes her cheeks flush just a little and she bites her lip.

“What?”

Madison’s eyes snap back up to meet Zoe’s and she smiles because she knows she’s been caught, but there’s that look in her eye that tells Zoe she’s about to get away with it. She always gets away with it.

“Nothing,” Madison says with a shake of her head, her eyes slowly doing a once over on her. “You’re just so...How did you get so…?”

Zoe snorts softly, rolling her eyes. She’d never admit that it thrills her that she has Madison at a loss for words; it’s almost like she has the upperhand of this weird game they play.

“Exercise,” she answers with a laugh. “You should try it sometime.”

Madison scoffs as if the idea is ridiculous, and Zoe only bites her lip to hide a smile before she shuts the door. She can’t stop smiling as she looks at herself in the mirror, and part of her hates this. Zoe hates how she’s been home for less than twenty-four hours and Madison has her hooked all over again.

In a sense it’s like she’s never left, that everything is just as she’s left it.

The knock on her door startles Zoe from her thoughts, and when she opens it, Madison is holding a hanger that holds her clothes from last night, all clean and dry.

“Can’t have you doing the walk of shame,” Madison teases, a glint in her eye as she hands off the hanger to Zoe and walks away. “Even if that shirt looks good on you.”

Zoe scoffs softly, watching Madison walk with a sense of amusement and wonder.


	2. two

Madison and Cordelia have never quite gotten along.

However, this is not the same thing as saying Madison and Cordelia aren’t close.

Cordelia Goode is about as close to a mother figure as Madison has these days. After her own parents had disowned her and kicked her out in high school upon Madison being viciously outed as bisexual, there was nowhere to turn. When Mallory and Zoe had informed Cordelia of what happened, Cordelia wasted no time in reaching out and telling Madison she would now be staying in her guest room, that she would be protected and cared for with her.

So Madison had a place to stay and she guesses a step-sister in Mallory.

Though, that’s a story of it’s own.

(Mallory is Cordelia’s god daughter, but after a freak accident that left Mallory as an orphan when she was a young child, Cordelia decided to step in and become her guardian. They could fool anyone into thinking Mallory is actually her daughter, though.)

And god, have Cordelia and Madison had their fair share of fights and screaming matches - Madison loves to push buttons and Cordelia’s are  _ much _ too easy to place - but Madison would do nearly anything for the older woman.

(Cordelia had been there, quiet and steady as ever, when Zoe had fled to London and Madison tried to figure out so desperately where she went wrong.

She has been there for Madison, and though they don’t talk about emotions or feelings all that much, Cordelia is Madison’s steady rock.)

Which is why she’s in Cordelia’s home now, having lunch with the woman who has always believed and supported her.

“Mallory tells me Zoe’s back in town,” Cordelia mentions after lunch, the two of them moving around each other in the kitchen to clean up.

Madison suppresses an eye roll, knowing the casual tone in Cordelia’s voice is anything but. This is a calculated moment in hopes of getting a reaction from Madison.

“Yeah, actually I knew that,” Madison tells her as she leans against the counter. “Mallory brought her by Coven’s the other night.”

“Oh?” Cordelia prompts, raising her eyebrows at Madison. “Did the two of you speak to each other?”

Madison scoffs softly, pushing off of the counter and giving Cordelia a look. “Of course we did,” she answers. “We’re not kids anymore, you know.”

“I know,” Cordelia chuckles softly, grabbing the dish rag and wiping down the sink. “It’s just been a while hasn’t it?”

“Five years,” Madison shrugs, trying to act like it hasn’t felt like forever.

Cordelia gives her a knowing look, one that sometimes infuriates Madison to no end because somehow Cordelia  _ always _ knows what Madison means and what she wants to say. Cordelia’s been able to read past Madison’s “I’m the shit and I don’t give a fuck about anything” bullshit so easily it used to frighten Madison. Now, it’s somewhat relieving.

“That’s a long time,” Cordelia assures her in a gentle voice, putting down the rag and turning to give Madison her full attention. “She’s doing well?”

Madison snorts, crossing her arms. “Don’t pretend like Mallory hasn’t filled you in on Zoe’s life,” she tells Cordelia, who feigns innocence. “I know you want to know what the deal is now between us.”

Cordelia knows she’s been caught and instead urges Madison on with, “Well?”

Madison chuckles softly, throwing her head back as she thinks of Zoe, drenched in rain and cheeks flushed with tequila yet still looking at breathtaking as ever. She thinks of Zoe’s laugh and her quick comebacks and the way she looked at Madison the next morning.

“It’s good I guess,” she shrugs, unable to fight the smile on her lips. “I don’t know. It’s good to have her back. In a sense, it’s almost as if she’s never left.”

Cordelia’s expression lights up just a bit and she offers a small smile. Before she can even open her mouth to respond, Madison is already cutting her off.

“Jesus Cordy, we’re just friends. It’s not like I’m about to marry her or some sappy shit,” she says pointedly. “And Zoe’s not even staying, anyway. She’s just here for her dumb book.”

At Madison’s words, Cordelia softens just a little. She reaches out and puts a hand on Madison’s crossed arms. Madison pointedly looks away, not interested in hearing what Cordelia has to say.

“I’m not saying propose to her, honey,” Cordelia chuckles, shaking her head. “You’re happier when she’s here. I think it’s time you do something about it.”

“Didn’t you hear me?” Madison snaps, her gaze quickly meeting Cordelia’s. “She’s not staying here. She’s going back to her stupid new life in London when she’s done.”

Cordelia gives her arm a squeeze as she says, “Deep down, you know Zoe loves New Orleans. Show her what she’s missing, Madison.”

Madison lets Cordelia’s words sit for a moment before she lets out a long sigh. She doesn’t resist when Cordelia leans forward to press a kiss to her forehead before pulling away from her completely.

“Your happiness is important to me Madison,” Cordelia reminds her. “And you were always happiest around Zoe.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Madison rolls her eyes, but her smile betrays her.

Cordelia has always cared for her, whether Madison has asked for her to or not.

* * *

When Zoe presses the buzzer that’s labeled “MM,” half of her hopes that no one answers and she can go home.

She’s got a soccer ball tucked securely under her arm and her hair haphazardly tied up into a ponytail. It’s not her best look, but she doesn’t  _ really _ care. Madison’s seen her in worse conditions.

A few seconds pass by and just as Zoe’s considering buzzing again, there’s a steady rhythm of heels hitting the concrete. When Zoe turns, she finds a gorgeous dirty blonde next to her. She’s wearing heels paired with shorts that are definitely way too short and a cropped tee that gives a clear view of her insanely flat stomach. Her hair falls in soft waves down her back and her eyes are so intensely blue that Zoe can’t quite tear her own eyes away.

In short, she is one of the most beautiful humans Zoe has ever seen.

The woman leans forward and pushes the buzzer. Zoe watches on and feels her stomach drop.

She hits the buzzer labeled “MM.”

Zoe feels incredibly out of her league now, doing a once over of her jeans shorts and old t-shirt she’d thrown on before heading this way. For whatever reason she doesn’t care to examine too carefully at the moment, she feels inferior to this woman. Her stomach twists as they wait for Madison to answer the door.

The silence between them is stifling, but to Zoe’s relief she hears footsteps making their way down the stairs. They both turn their attention to the door when it opens to find Madison in an oversized sweater with shorts barely peeking out from the bottom. Zoe hates how good she looks, how her chest is doing that dumb thing it used to do at the sight of her.

“Hey,” Madison greets, her eyes focused on the tall drink of water next to Zoe.

She doesn’t even register that Zoe’s also right there. Zoe watches the way Madison gives the woman her almost predatory-like smile. She’s seen Madison do this time and time again - the smile, the eyes, all of it.

(Zoe hates how she feels her knees go a little weak at the little show.

She hates that after all these years Madison still hasn’t lost her charm.)

“Hey you,” the other woman practically coos and just like that Zoe is irritated. “Long time no see.”

Madison lets out a low chuckle, and Zoe feels like she’s definitely intruding on some weird moment she’s definitely  _ not _ supposed to be a part of. She really kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

“I know,” Madison hums, never once taking her eyes off of the woman.

The woman laughs softly, and only then does she spare a glance at Zoe. The way she looks at Zoe makes the brunette’s jaw clench. She’s always hated these particular model types - Zoe’s assuming she’s a model like Madison at this point - the ones who think they’re better than every single average-looking person they come across.

Madison follows the woman’s gaze and her expression shifts into surprise when she realizes Zoe’s standing right there.

“Zoe,” she says with a slight hint of surprise, tilting her head just a little.

“Hey,” Zoe says awkwardly, trying not to be bothered by the judgemental look she’s getting from the other woman.

Madison blinks for a moment, then steps outside, looking back at the woman.

“This is Zoe,” she explains. “She’s...she’s been my best friend for years.”

Zoe can’t help but smile at that; she doesn’t know if she’d categorize Madison as her end-all, be-all best friend - that’s more Mallory’s title - but Madison had always been way closer than a  _ friend. _ They both know it.

(And, plus, they’ve been around each other since they were six, so. She guesses that counts.)

Madison returns her smile, soft and easy and reserved for moments like this. It’s a crack in Madison’s typical exterior, and Zoe knows she’s been able to pull these moments out of her better than anyone else.

The woman clears her throat, jarring both Zoe and Madison out of their little daze.

“I’ll be upstairs,” she announces, giving Madison a pointed look before side stepping her and stomping up the stairs without another glance at Zoe.

Zoe holds in a scoff at that.

Madison watches her go before she’s turning back to Zoe with an apologetic expression.

“Sorry, she’s…”

Zoe almost laughs at Madison’s loss for words. She wonders how Madison will try to finish the sentence. Will she try to say she’s a friend? Because they both know that’s not true. Fuck buddy? Occasional hook up? Whatever it is, she knows Madison is reluctant to explain.

So Zoe doesn’t make her.

“None of my business,” Zoe decides shaking her head. “I should just...go.”

She begins taking a few steps back, trying to save herself from the awkwardness of the situation.

“Zoe, hey!” Madison says, reaching out and grabbing Zoe by the wrist.

Zoe looks down at Madison’s grasp before the other woman drops her hand back down to her side. When she looks up, Madison is looking at her curiously.

“What are you doing here?”

“Um,” Zoe begins, feeling like her idea was stupid to begin with. “I just wanted to see if you, like, wanted to - um, hang out or something. Like, maybe kick the ball around. But you’re clearly busy so I’m just...gonna go now.”

She misses Madison’s amused expression as she stutters on. She’s too busy looking anywhere  _ but _ the other woman. She begins to walk backwards again, creating space between herself and Madison.

“So, you know…I’ll be around. If you wanna, you know, mess around - I mean,” Zoe’s eyes are wide and her cheeks begin to flush when she realizes what she’s just said, stopping in her tracks. “Hang out, or you know, hang around - I just...yeah.”

Madison lets a laugh fall from her lips as she walks up to Zoe.

“You’re running away from me,” she states, arms crossed.

“Am not,” Zoe retorts almost defensively.

Madison rolls her eyes, but her expression softens when she says, “Have dinner with me.”

Zoe quirks an eyebrow. “What?”

“Seriously,” Madison nods. “Come over tomorrow night. I’ll make us dinner.”

Zoe snorts at this. “You cook? You’re so lazy, Mads.”

Madison ignores her comments and gives Zoe soft eyes and a slight smile that barely lifts her lips. Zoe can feel her own expression soften at the sight and hates how Madison can still have her cave so easily.

It’s  _ just _ dinner, anyway.

“Okay,” she agrees.

Madison smiles. “Okay.”

_ “Madison.” _

The two of them stare towards the stairwell, both clearly forgetting Madison has a guest waiting for her. The reminder leaves a bitter taste in Zoe’s mouth.

Madison offers another apologetic look as she says, “See you tomorrow night.”

Zoe nods, smiling as she walks backwards again. “Can’t wait.”

Madison stays by the door, watching until Zoe turns around and rounds the corner.

Zoe hates how she’s smiling the whole way home.

* * *

Mallory approaches the table with two coffee cups in her hands. She places one in front of Zoe, who gleefully reaches out and holds the warm cup in her hands.

“Thank you,” Zoe murmurs over her cup. “You know I can pay for my own coffee, right?”

Mallory lets out a soft chuckle as she takes a seat. “It’s nothing,” she waves off. “You’re my best friend...even though you left me for London.”

Zoe smiles apologetically, but Mallory only grins in her teasing way. Of course, leaving Mallory had never been easy. They’d practically be attached to the hip for the better part of their childhood - a different way she and Madison had been. No, Mallory and Zoe had been more of a normal friendship, one where they did things together and had a lot of common interests.

Madison and Zoe were...different.

But Zoe shakes her head because she should  _ not _ be thinking about Madison all the time. She doesn’t, she swears. She’s pretty sure it’s being back in New Orleans that has her all out of sorts.

“So,” Mallory begins. “You went to see Madison today…” 

Zoe lets out a groan immediately, thinking it was foolish to hope Mallory would be able to resist bringing up Zoe’s earlier encounter with her somewhat sister right away.

There goes not thinking about Madison.

Zoe rolls her eyes, trying not to replay the scene in her head. “I had no idea she’d be having  _ company _ over today.”

Mallory snorts at her comment, but she raises an eyebrow. “Was the chick cute at least?”

_ “Gorgeous, _ actually,” Zoe sighs, shaking her head. “I swear she’s probably one of Madison’s model friends.”

“Right, a  _ friend,” _ Mallory nods along, raising her eyebrows with insinuation.

Zoe scoffs, rolling her eyes as she sips on her own coffee.

Noticing the irritation in Zoe, Mallory shrugs in defense. “What? You know Madison as well as I do.”

Zoe tries not to look so bitter when she replies, “Yeah, I know.”

“But,” Mallory adds, sensing she’s slightly upset her best friend. “She invited you to dinner tomorrow night?”

Zoe’s lips twist in thought and she answers, “Yeah.”

“And you’re going?” Mallory clarifies, trying to school her smug and delighted expression.

“She said she’d cook,” Zoe shrugs, her gaze not quite meeting Mallory’s.

Mallory can’t help the knowing smile on her face now. Her features light up at Zoe’s telltale mannerisms. It’s her silence that catches Zoe’s attention; Zoe finally looks at Mallory and is surprised by the expression on her face.

“What?” Zoe asks.

“You’re still in love with her,” Mallory accuses her gleefully.

“Wh - no I’m not!” Zoe denies immediately, almost glaring at her best friend.

Still being in love with Madison a whole five years later would be absolutely  _ ridiculous. _ Zoe’s definitely not in love with her; she’s just having some resurfacing memories, that’s all. It’s normal, she figures, to be somewhat out of sorts when an old flame comes back into her life.

“You  _ so _ are!” Mallory exclaims with a wide grin, like she’s known it all along.

Zoe lets out a petulant scoff and shakes her head. “Don’t be ridiculous, Mal. I haven’t seen her in forever. We’re just friends, that’s all.”

Mallory snorts. “Yeah, because Madison’s the type to invite her friends over for dinner and actually cook for them instead of ordering takeout.”

“Maybe she is now,” Zoe shrugs.

“Sure,” Mallory hums, hiding a smirk behind her coffee cup. “Maybe she is.”

“Don’t give me that look,” Zoe half-heartedly scolds.

“What look?” Mallory asks, feigning confusion.

Her eyes grow wide as she places her coffee back down to the table. Zoe almost laughs at how exaggerated Mallory is being with her expression.

“The look that says you definitely don’t buy anything I’m saying,” Zoe explains with an eye roll.

Mallory grins then, knowing she’s been caught but doesn’t even care. With a shrug she replies, “I know you and I know Madison. Madison doesn’t even cook for  _ me _ when I come over. I have to offer to buy the groceries if I want her to cook.”

Zoe snorts. “Because you hate each other.”

“On the surface,” Mallory reminds her.

Zoe smiles. “On the surface.”

She knows at the end of the day Mallory cares about both her and Madison. Mallory had been there when Zoe had been nothing more than a girl who had literal heart eyes for Madison, and Zoe laughs now at how ridiculous she was at the time.

“Just admit it,” Mallory says. “It’s a date.”

Zoe shakes her head, but the smile on her lips betrays her.

“We’ll see.”

* * *

For a moment, Zoe thinks she is in a parallel universe.

She only thinks this because the Madison Montgomery she remembers was never this good of a cook. Nor was she one to go all out for  _ dinner. _

“It’s just pasta,” Madison laughs when Zoe makes a comment.

Zoe rolls her eyes, but she takes around the scenery around her. They’re on the rooftop of Madison’s building, overlooking the landscape of New Orleans and all its glory. There’s something magical about being able to see the whole city from up here. She can feel the life it breathes down below.

Madison sits across from her, eyes bright and that half-smirk perfectly intact as she consumes her dinner. She’s still the same as she’s always been - quick with a comment on her tongue but smooth as ever.

Part of Zoe hates how easy this is. She hates how things feel so organic and familiar with Madison. In a sense it’s like they’d never lost touch, like Zoe had never left for London and Madison isn’t the type of person to have various flings that always end.

Somewhere a few blocks down, music begins to play loud and clear. Zoe guesses it must be a party or event of some sort, but the song takes her back to a night she remembers very well.

Madison’s features light up at the sound of it, eyes falling on Zoe as she pushes out of her chair. Her hand extends right away, and it’s barely a moment before she’s pulling Zoe out of her own chair and off to the side.

“What are you doing?” Zoe asks.

“Dance with me,” she replies, tugging Zoe closer to her as she wraps an arm gently around Zoe’s middle.

“Why?”

But Zoe’s complying anyway, a hand falling into Madison’s as she gently holds onto Madison’s middle in return.

Madison’s eyes raise in a teasing manner. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember this song now.”

Zoe listens for a moment as she and Madison idly dance on the rooftop. Once she’s able to make out the lyrics, memories start flooding back to her all at once. She knows this song; there’s no way she could ever forget.

She lets out a quiet laugh, shaking her head fondly.

“Cordelia played this one for us,” Zoe recalls. “At her wedding. Because it’s all we listened to for a week straight.”

Madison grins, clearly pleased Zoe recalls the song. Her eyes suddenly fill with what Zoe recognizes as something mischevious, and she knows whatever is coming out of Madison’s mouth next is going to affect her in some way.

“Yeah, the wedding where you kissed me.”

That slight smirk is back, and Zoe gapes.

“No, you kissed me,” she retorts immediately.

Madison quirks an eyebrow, the smirk only growing deeper. “I’m not sure about that one, String Bean. I think you started it.”

Zoe scoffs, but a smile plays on her lips. “I think I was drunk, that’s what I remember.”

Madison amuses her. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Madison gives her a signature eye roll, giving Zoe a little spin before she says, “I think that’s the last time I saw you before you ran off to London.”

It makes Zoe pause for a moment, Madison still holding her as they dance.

She  _ knows _ it was the last time they saw each other.

Madison notices the shift and pulls away from Zoe, opting to lean over the brick to look out to the city. The mood has shifted entirely and Zoe stays in the same spot, watching Madison, waiting to see what comes next.

“You left without saying goodbye,” Madison reminds her quietly.

Zoe feels the heaviness in her chest, the heaviness between the two of them. She knows she has to tread this carefully, that a dinner and some dancing can’t have her falling to her knees so easily. She walks over to where Madison stands, leaning against the balcony next to her. 

“You don’t seem to be lonely out here, though.”

Madison lets out a quiet scoff, shaking her head because she knows Zoe’s got her there. Something about it satisfies and stings all the same to Zoe.

“Fine,” Madison relents, but she turns to face Zoe as she asks, “So, who’s that shaggy-haired blonde guy who looks like he belongs in a 2000s band?”

Zoe raises her eyebrows in surprise. “Keeping tabs on me, Madison?”

“Maybe a little. Social media makes it easy,” Madison shrugs with a chuckle. “By the way, your glasses have gotten bigger and make you look like a mouse.”

Her comment makes Zoe snort, tilting her head. “And all your model outings look ridiculously expensive, you know.”

Madison smirks. “It’s part of the job, what can I say?”

Zoe laughs, pushing herself off the brick. “You’re a brat.”

“Oh really?” Madison asks with a smirk, pushing off as well.

“Yeah,” Zoe nods, grinning.

Madison is standing right in front of her now, and the air shifts between them yet again. Zoe’s stomach tights because Madison is smirking at her with this light in her eyes that Zoe doesn’t quite want to decipher. She thinks she may be getting dizzy because of the dancing or from being up too way, but definitely not from the way Madison is looking at her.

At this point Madison is impossibly close and her hand is so close Zoe is tempted to reach out and lace their fingers together. She thinks Madison is leaning in, and she’s tempted to do the same, but there’s a sound of a car driving by below that snaps her out of it.

“I should go,” she blurts out, taking a step back.

Madison looks at her carefully, like she’s trying to understand.

“Why?”

Zoe bites her lip. “So I don’t stay.”

There’s something in Madison’s expression that Zoe can’t read, but she doesn’t allow herself to figure it out. She steps around Madison and towards the door back to the apartment. She feels Madison’s eyes on her, and can’t help taking on last look back.

There is something in Madison’s eyes, something that’s tugging at Zoe to stay, but she knows she can’t.

She walks back down to the apartment and out of the complex hoping that fresh air and not being so close to Madison will help her clear her head.

* * *

Zoe asks Mallory to come with her to visit the French Quarter because she needs to do more research on the stories behind this city.

Which, it’s true, for the most part, she  _ does _ need to do this for her novel.

But mostly, she’s trying to get her mind off of Madison and their dinner and that almost kiss that has sent Zoe spiraling for the past fourteen hours or so, and being by herself with her thoughts was not helping at all.

She’s quiet though, reading - or at least pretending to read - the various pamphlets she’s picked up, and she knows Mallory is watching her carefully, waiting for to crack. Zoe pretends not to notice because she knows that her best friend is on the edge of breaking her own silence and asking a million questions.

“So are you ever going to tell me?” Mallory finally asks.

Zoe blinks and looks up from her pamphlet, feigning innocence. “Tell you what?”

Mallory raises both her eyebrows. Zoe’s look doesn’t change.

“About your date with Madison,” Mallory explains in a  _ duh _ voice. “You went over last night, didn’t you?”

Zoe offers a shrug, not meeting Mallory’s gaze. “Oh yeah, we had dinner.”

“And?” Mallory prompts, an eager look on her face.

“And what?” Zoe asks, laughing at the ridiculous look Mallory wears. “It was dinner.”

“I’m not buying that,” Mallory tells her, crossing her arms as she stops her walk.

Zoe continues to walk down the street until she notices that Mallory is no longer by her side. She turns, finding Mallory still behind her, arms crossed with a cocked eyebrow.

“What do you want me to say, Mal?” Zoe asks, throwing up her arms. “That it was easy? That being with her feels like I never left?”

Mallory gives her a look. “Uh,  _ yeah _ actually.”

Zoe scoffs, shaking her head as she looks up at the sky helplessly. She thinks about Madison and the way they dance and the way everything feels like home with her.

She also thinks about Madison and how complicated they’ve always been when it comes to each other.

“I can’t do this to myself,” she tells Mallory, a bit of vulnerability beginning to seep through. “I can’t go through this with her again. Not when she’s...she’s Madison.”

Zoe says her name like that’s all there is to it, like that is explanation enough.

But Mallory isn’t having it.

“You’re both older now,” Mallory reminds her, walking up to her best friend. “And you’re not the only one afraid of this, you know.”

Zoe frowns. “She has nothing to be afraid of.”

Mallory twists her lips before she says, “You ran away, Zoe.”

Zoe looks at her, somewhat baffled. Deep down, she knows what she did. She knows she freaked out and ran off when the opportunity presented itself - and then deciding to stay away instead of coming home - but hearing it out loud from her best friend makes it  _ real _ in a way the past few years she’s spent in London haven’t.

“I...it was too good for a chance to turn down,” Zoe defends. “You know that.”

Mallory puts her hands up. “I’m just saying, Zoe. You aren’t the only one here.”

“So you’re on her side now?” Zoe asks.

Mallory groans. “Jesus, Zoe. I care about both of you. Madison’s a big pain in my ass most of the time, but I still care about her, you know, as like, a fake sister. And you’re my best friend.”

Zoe sighs, looking away from Mallory because she really didn’t think she’d be having this conversation in the middle of the French Quarter right now.

“Don’t fool yourself, you’re still in love with her. That never went away,” Mallory tells her.

“But she-” Zoe tries again, but Mallory cuts her off.

“Just give her a chance, will you? Don’t ruin this for yourself.”

Mallory looks at her for another moment before she’s walking past her and down the rest of the street. Zoe stands there, letting out a long and frustrated huff.

* * *

A long, frustrated sigh leaves Zoe’s lips as she stares at her practically blank document on her laptop screen.

There are pamphlets scattered all around her desk and even the floor. Her notebook is open with scribbled notes over the past few days. It almost looks like a mini tornado come through her room and left behind a trail of research and notes that Zoe is too tired to write up into clear and concise information.

She sits back in her chair, feeling somewhat defeated. 

Her eyes wander to her bed longingly, and she’s honestly just considering leaving this mess at her desk and crawling into bed when she hears a rapping at her window.

Zoe jumps, somewhat frightened by the noise. Her head immediately whips around to look at her window, almost doing a double take when she sees Madison leaning against the frame of her window with a book tucked under her arm.

“What the fuck,” Zoe muses, looking to her laptop, which reads 12:34 a.m. in the top corner.

When she looks back at Madison through her window, she finds Madison giving her a look as if to say  _ well open the window, idiot. _ A soft laugh escapes Zoe’s lips as she slowly gets out of her chair and opens her window.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, eyeing Madison curiously. “Do you know what time it is?”

Madison rolls her eyes. “I’ve come knocking on your window way later than this.”

“You’ve broken in through this window way later than this,” Zoe corrects, an amused smile on her face.

It earns her a soft and content snort from Madison, who pulls the book out from under her arm and hands it to Zoe.

“I never gave this back to you.”

Zoe quirks an eyebrow, not even glancing at the book as she asks, “You came here and knocked on my window to give me a book? You seriously couldn’t wait until like, tomorrow?”

Madison scoffs, giving her an eye roll. “Look inside the book, stupid.”

Zoe does as she’s told and flips the book cover open, noticing the sticky note on the cover page. She immediately recognizes the harsh movements of ink as Madison’s handwriting.

_ Meet me outside tomorrow morning. 9 a.m. _

She looks back up to find Madison looking at her with those damn mischievous eyes and a hint of a smile.

“See you tomorrow String Bean,” she says smoothly, like every word matters.

“Where are we going?”

Madison only smirks and replies, “Don’t be late.”

With that, Madison turns and leaves, leaving Zoe to stand in front of her open window attempting to process what exactly is going on. She looks down at the sticky note again and finds herself smiling at the familiarity Madison’s handwriting. It’s not until she closes the book that she realizes what Madison’s given her.

It’s her copy of  _ Pride and Prejudice _ from years ago. Zoe had read it on her own free will when she was around thirteen and absolutely fell in love. Madison had whined about having to read it their freshman year of high school, and Zoe had given her this copy without hesitation, trying for weeks to get Madison as excited as she was about the book.

(It didn’t work. Madison just talked Zoe into helping her with all her assignments.

Zoe found in the end she wasn’t too upset about it.)

The faded cover of the book brings back a thousand memories at once, and she thinks of Madison and who they used to be.

Zoe falls asleep to memories of Madison and her laugh and smile and the way her eyes shined when she somehow managed to get Zoe to do something reckless and out the norm.


	3. three

“Where are we going?”

“Do you trust me?”

“You’re really asking?”

“Too bad, String bean. You’re stuck with me all day.”

Madison  _ hates _ cliches and anything involving romance or  _ feelings _ in general.

Yet here she is, taking Zoe on a date around the city they grew up in and finding herself stupidly falling for the brunette all over again.

(“What do people even  _ do _ on dates?” Madison had whined when Mallory had attempted to help her prior to dropping the book off.

Mallory gave her a look and said, “It doesn’t matter what people do; it matters what Zoe would want to do.”

“And what’s that?”

“God, do I have to do everything around here? Just spend the day with her in New Orleans, Madison. You know she’s never been the type of person who wants grand gestures or over the top gifts.”)

Madison takes her to the farmer’s market in the morning, knowing this was Zoe’s favorite place when she was home from college. Zoe’s eyes light up just like Madison knows they would; Zoe used to love coming here when she’d come home from college. She would try time and time again to drag Madison along with her when their schedules lined up, but Madison loves her sleep too much to sacrifice a morning outside.

Things are different now, though. Zoe is here for the first time in a long time, and Madison isn’t as stupid as she used to be. Having Zoe back in town had everything come flooding back to her at once. She knows how she feels about Zoe, knows this weird line they’ve always walked. And, plus, she’s _pretty_ sure Zoe almost kissed her the other night.

So no, Madison isn’t letting this woman slip away from her again.

They come across a pop up bookshop and the way Zoe’s entire expression grows with excitement has Madison smiling. It’s almost childlike how thrilled Zoe is, immediately running over to look through old books that Madison definitely has no clue about. But Madison follows behind her, taking in everything about Zoe in this state. 

Zoe’s eyes grow wide when she comes across one book in particular, picking it up with such reverence that it surprises Madison.

“I can’t believe they have this,” Zoe murmurs, looking up to meet Madison’s gaze.

Madison tilts her head slightly, a soft smile on her lips as she says, “Tell me why it’s special.”

Zoe quirks an eyebrow, genuinely surprised. “Seriously?”

Madison offers an encouraging nod. Zoe bites her lip, trying to contain her excitement and Madison finds it endlessly adorable.

“Okay well, this is  _ Goodbye, Columbus _ by Philip Roth. There are plenty of copies but this...this is the first edition. It’s hard to get a hand on without spending hundreds of dollars,” Zoe explains. “It’s a collection of stories…”

As Zoe goes on, voice animated and quick as she talks about the book in her hands, Madison finds she doesn’t care all that much about the book at all. She cares about the way Zoe can’t stop smiling as she continues her explanation, how Zoe is so passionate about the binded papers in her hands that she might burst. She cares about how Zoe looks best here, on a sunny day in New Orleans and not somewhere far away in probably gloomy London.

“...and you’re not listening to me at all, are you?” Zoe asks, her tone light and teasing.

Madison lifts her head, letting out a soft hum. She doesn’t want to give Zoe the satisfaction of being right - because no matter how stupidly adorable Zoe looks talking about books, Madison  _ still _ doesn’t like losing to her - so she instead raises her eyebrows.

“Let’s buy the book.”

“What?”

“You clearly care a lot about it if you talked long enough to notice I wasn’t  _ really _ listening,” Madison tells her cheekily.

Zoe scoffs, but laughter quickly follows. “We don’t have to buy it. I just...it’s cool.”

Madison rolls her eyes, not buying Zoe’s act for a second. She instead reaches over and plucks the book out of Zoe’s grasp - to which she gets a “Hey! Be careful with that!” - and walks over to the vendor.

“Madison seriously, you don’t have to-” Zoe tries, chasing after her.

Madison is tugging out her credit card and handing the book over to the vendor, who smiles at her kindly. Zoe tries to reach for the card, but Madison smacks her hand away, blocking the space between Zoe and the vendor.

Zoe realizes she’s lost the fight, watching as Madison pays for the book Zoe had been gushing about moments ago.

Once it’s all said and done, Madison turns around and smirks, handing Zoe the book.

“Here you go, nerd.”

Zoe takes the book carefully, eyes it as if to make sure she’s not imagining it, and looks back at Madison.

“You didn’t have to.”

Madison’s smirk only deepens as she answers, “I know that.”

Zoe sighs, but there’s a smile starting to peak underneath her facade and Madison finds herself satisfied. She knows Zoe is trying to contain her excitement, trying not to completely geek out right now.

“I’m hungry,” Madison says suddenly. “Beignets?”

Zoe grins, nodding eagerly before she’s grabbing Madison by the wrist and tugging her the whole way.

(And if Madison decides to slip her hand into Zoe’s instead of being tugged the whole way, Zoe doesn’t mind at all.)

* * *

It’s not a shock that by the nature of New Orleans, it begins pouring rain midway through their afternoon.

They’re in the middle of the street when it starts, but neither of them seem too upset. They laugh at the ridiculousness, looking at each other like they can’t quite believe they’ve ended up here.

Madison takes Zoe back to her loft, both of them soaking wet.

She can’t seem to wipe this dumb, giddy look off her face, but by the looks of it, Zoe has the same look plastered on her face too.

“Come on,” Madison says to Zoe. “I’ll run our clothes through the wash.”

They both pick opposite corners of the room to undress. Zoe picks the corner between Madison’s bed and dresser while Madison opts for the spot right next to the washer. Madison takes a moment and catches herself  _ still _ smiling. She can’t remember the last time she’s felt so...comfortable.

Being with Zoe is refreshing, there’s no pressure or games she’s trying to play. For the first time in a long time Madison can simply exist and Zoe still laughs and smiles and looks at Madison like there’s no place she’d rather be.

Madison’s lost in her thoughts for a moment, absentmindedly tossing her clothes into the washer. It’s not until she feels the soft hand on her bare shoulder that she turns to find Zoe, in nothing more than her bra and underwear, holding her clothes out.

That stupid smile comes back again, even though Madison tries her best to suppress it, and tosses Zoe’s clothes in, too before turning the machine on.

“Hey,” Zoe says softly. “Wanna play a game?”

Zoe’s voice is light and playful, and when the warmth of Zoe’s hand on her shoulder disappears she turns. Zoe is looking at her with bright eyes and a smile, biting her lip. The look she’s giving Madison is driving her insane, and in any other situation, she’d have Zoe pinned against her bed within a second.

But Zoe isn’t just  _ any _ other girl. She’s Zoe, and there are so many complicated things that come with that, but Madison has to be careful; she can’t screw this up.

“What do you have in mind?” she asks carefully, gently.

Zoe smirks just a little as she answers, “A game where you can actually score.”

Madison laughs softly at her response, the twinkle in Zoe’s eyes enough to tell Madison what she’s hinting at. Madison approaches Zoe slowly, not wanting to scare the girl away. She knows she wants this, wants  _ Zoe, _ but Zoe will never be just another girl.

It’s agonizingly slow, but they don’t tear their gazes off of each other for a moment. Madison feels Zoe’s hands on her shoulders, but all Madison is focused on is the way that Zoe looks at how, at how she’s conveying the same amount of anticipating and excitement and want that Madison feels.

Madison’s hand comes up to hold Zoe’s side, keeping her firmly in front of her. She can tell Zoe is holding back a smile, can see it in the way her eyes smile for her. Madison’s gaze lingers for just a moment longer, almost as if she’s waiting for Zoe to back out. Zoe shows no signs of hesitant, and Madison just knows she’s waiting for her to make the first move.

So Madison does.

She leans forward and captures Zoe’s lips effortlessly against hers. It’s not their first kiss, but it’s the first one where Madison knows that Zoe’s just as eager as she is, that this isn’t just a drunken kiss at a wedding where love is everywhere. Zoe kisses her back hungrily, a hand come up to caress Madison’s face.

It’s easy to drown in every sensation that is Zoe; she’s so intoxicating that when her hands start to wander all over Madison’s body across her skin she almost shivers. She begins guiding Zoe towards the bed as they trade heated, passionate kisses. Madison pulls away only to go for Zoe’s jaw, pressing kisses feverishly there.

“Stop,” Zoe breathes out, hands coming back up to Madison’s shoulders. “Stop, stop stop.”

Madison pulls away almost immediately, suddenly afraid she’s done something very, very wrong. Her brows furrow together as he tries to catch her breath. She searches for any signs of from Zoe as to what’s wrong.

“Admit you never let me win,” Zoe requests, biting back a smile.

Madison’s confusion turns into amusement, a soft chuckle falling from her lips.

“I have a reputation to uphold up here,” she says with feigned pride. “I can’t go around spreading these lies.”

Zoe giggles, shaking her head. “Admit it.”

“No,” Madison says, fully grinning now.

She takes Zoe’s slight distraction to begin guiding her once again towards the bed. Zoe lets her move them, but she’s adamant on getting what she wants. 

“Come on Mads, say it!” Zoe insists, eyes full of spirit and excitement.

“Never,” Madison murmurs before pushing Zoe onto the bed.

Zoe lets out a squeal, but they fall into bed easily. As Zoe’s back hits the mattress, Madison wastes no time leaning down and kissing her soundly, pleased to find that Zoe meets her eagerly halfway.

She slowly begins to familiarize herself with every inch of Zoe’s body. She notes the sounds that Zoe makes, which actions on her part elicit certain sounds from Zoe. She makes sure to take her time, gentle and slow, full of adoration and a carefulness she’s always felt around Zoe.

Madison has never been good with words, certainly not around Zoe Benson, but she hopes that her lips and fingers are enough to convey the message.

* * *

Sunlight is streaming softly through Madison’s window when Zoe wakes up. She exhales slowly, trying to get a feel of her surroundings. She feels skin against her own and it takes a moment before she realizes that it’s Madison under her arm.

It makes her smile without even noticing to know that Madison underneath her hold, curled tightly with her back pressed up against Zoe’s front. She leans her head down just enough to press a kiss onto Madison’s bare shoulder. The blonde doesn’t stir at all, but Zoe feels content all the same.

Her morning daze is interrupted when she hears her phone buzzing on the nightstand. Reluctantly, Zoe peels herself away from Madison and reaches out until her picks her phone up from the nightstand.

She squints, and once she recognizes the name as her book agent’s, Zoe quickly slips out of bed and grabs the first shirt she can find. She hastily tugs it over her head, making her way up to the roof of Madison’s apartment. She’s wide awake now as she answers.

“Hi,” she greets. “Good morning.”

_ “Ah yes, it’s morning over there,”  _ the familiar British voice comes through.  _ “I didn’t happen to wake you, didn’t I?” _

“Oh no not at all,” Zoe insists, attempting to sound carefree and casual.

Her eyes are wide and she’s attempting to not feel so frazzled. Her agent can’t actually  _ see _ her, so it doesn’t matter that she’s literally in one of Madison’s oversized shirts and not much else.

“So what’s up?” Zoe asks, her voice slightly higher than usual.

_ “Just checking in you and your research for your novel. I wanted to make sure you weren’t getting distracted being back home.” _

Zoe’s eyes widen a bit more, feeling called out. Of course, there’s no way her agent actually knows what’s happening here, but suddenly she feels exposed. She thinks back to Madison downstairs with minimal clothing and still asleep under the sheets. 

“Distracted?” she almost scoffs, shaking her head. “Definitely not distracted. Not at all. Research is going well actually. I’m getting lots of good information, you know. There’s just so much history here.”

Zoe tries not to cringe at the double entendre she drops at the end of her ramble. A grimace crosses her features though, and she silently prays her agent will hang up soon.

_ “Good,”  _ her agent says approvingly.  _ “Don’t forget how important this is. It’s your first novel; you can’t play around when it comes to this. The publisher may have picked you up, but remember if this doesn’t impress them, they can just as easily drop you.” _

Zoe holds in a sigh, feeling like she’s being chastised like a child. “I know, I know. I won’t let you down.”

_ “You’re very talented, Zoe. It’d be a shame if your head was stuck in the clouds a little too long.” _

“It won’t be - it’s not,” Zoe replies quickly, shaking her head vigorously even though she knows her agent can’t see her.

_ “I expect to see you soon, then.” _

Before Zoe can get another word in, her agent hangs up. She lets out a soft sigh, staring at the end call screen on her phone before throwing her head back.

“I think this is easily the best view New Orleans has ever given me.”

Zoe’s head turns at the voice, and something inside of her stills when she finds Madison with an oversized hoodie and that damned half-smirk, half-smile she wears so well.

Madison walks towards Zoe slowly, and the brunette stays in place as she watches. Her smirk turns into a softer smile as she wraps her arms around Zoe’s middle, pulling her back into her. Zoe relaxes into Madison’s front all to easily, eyes never leaving the other girl.

“How are you this morning?” Madison murmurs so close that Zoe can feel her breath against her skin.

She looks at Madison with a quiet gaze. “Thank you.”

Madison’s eyebrows knit together and she tilts her head in a barely noticeable way as she asks, “For what?”

“For making me feel at home again,” Zoe says softly, turning so she can see more of Madison, can watch the way Madisonn’s lips ease into a smile.

Madison’s tone is delicate but honest when she replies, “Everything about home is better now that you’re here again.”

Zoe feels warmth grow from the pit of her stomach to the middle of her chest. She knows that a younger version of her would feel like this is a dream, that this was something she’d kept always in the back of her mind, a situation she figured would amount to nothing more than mindless musings.

At the end of the day, Zoe knows she cannot fool herself.

She knows what Madison has always meant to her.

This is why, looking at Madison now as the day begins in the city of New Orleans, she knows she can’t have this.

Madison has always been her  _ almost. _

They may be older, but Zoe still knows Madison better than anyone else.

(At least, she thinks she does.)

“I can’t,” she blurts out abruptly, breaking the two of them out of their precious bubble.

She follows her words by stumbling out of Madison’s arms, taking a few large steps backwards to create a significant amount of space between herself and Madison.

Madison’s entire expression shifts as Zoe moves away. There’s a frown on her lips and she hesitates for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not to follow in the space Zoe left behind.

“What?” she asks, deciding to stay put.

Zoe shakes her head, trying to come up with the words. “Y...What are we doing?”

The question only confuses Madison more, eyebrows knitting together tightly.

“We’re not teenagers anymore,” Zoe tells her a grimace on her lips. “I know where I stand with you.”

Madison opens her mouth to say something, but Zoe’s still going.

“I’m the girl who wasn’t afraid to push back when you pushed me. I’m the girl who had this stupid crush on you when we were younger,” Zoe shrugs, looking at Madison helplessly. “And now I’m just another girl who’s been in your bed.”

Madison is immediately taking a step forward, shaking her head as she says, “No, that’s not-”

“I’ve worked so hard to get away from this,” Zoe cuts her off, beginning to pace. “From feeling trapped in New Orleans with nowhere to go.”

“Zoe…”

Zoe stops, looking Madison dead in the eyes.

“From watching you always be with someone else.”

They stare at each other for a moment, Madison looking at Zoe in confusion and disbelief as Zoe looks at her with a tired expression.

“With who, Zoe?”

“I don’t know,” Zoe tells her, throwing her hands up. “That girl that came to your apartment last week? Whoever comes after her? I’m sure another one will come after I leave. Just like when we were in college.”

Madison’s shoulders slouched and she looks defeated, and Zoe can’t help but think everything she just said is right. She’s known Madison Montgomery for so long, she can’t afford to let herself forget now.

“Look,” she sighs, when it’s clear Madison has nothing to say. “This...thing we’ve been doing has been fun, I just…”

Madison raises her eyebrows with an incredulous look. “ _ ‘Thing’ _ ?”

“I have to go.”

With that, Zoe forces herself to turn around and walk back into Madison apartment. She picks up her things while part of her hopes to hear Madison stomping down the stairs back down after her. She hopes Madison tells her she’s not letting Zoe run away this easily like she always does.

But Madison doesn’t come by the time Zoe has figured out where all her clothes have been hiding. She waits a beat, standing in the middle of Madison’s bedroom expecting the blonde to storm in.

She doesn’t.

Zoe leaves.

* * *

It isn’t until Madison hears her front door open that she realizes just how long she’s been alone. Queenie’s gone for the weekend and won’t be back until late Monday night, so Madison  _ knows _ it’s not her roommate.

From her position of laying on the couch, her eyes shift from her TV to the door to find Mallory entering her apartment. Mallory meets her gaze before looking from Madison to the TV before letting out a snort.

“You hate this shit,” she comments, referring to whatever trash reality TV show is playing at the moment.

Madison ignores her comment. “What are you doing here?”

Mallory quirks an eyebrow as if it’s obvious. Madison only stares back at her expectantly.

“We’re supposed to go to a late lunch, remember?” 

“Fuck, it’s late already?” Madison looks down at her phone, checking the time. 

Mallory makes a face at her, walking over. “What have you been doing all day? You look like you haven’t showered. Didn’t you have your date with Zoe yesterday?”

At the sound of Zoe’s name, Madison gives Mallory a glare from her position on the couch.

“What? You haven’t talked to your best friend yet?” she asks with snark dripping from her words.

“Uh no,” Mallory says with a twist of her lips. “I was just going to ask you how it...wait, what happened?”

Madison shrugs, breaking her gaze away from Mallory. She clenches her jaw, thinking about the conversation on the roof, how she didn’t say anything back to Zoe, how Zoe didn’t give her much of a chance to, anyway.

She thinks about how long she’d stood on the roof, staring at the door that Zoe had walked through, trying to understand what the hell had just happened.

(She doesn’t think about how she made no move to stop Zoe.)

When Mallory is still quiet, she look at her and says, “What, not going to ask me what I did? Since apparently everything’s always my fault apparently?”

Mallory sighs and asks again, “What happened, Madison?”

Madison shrinks into herself and crosses her arms. She bites her lip, never used to talking about things like this with Mallory.

“She thinks I’m still the same,” Madison tells her in a softer voice. “Thinks I’m still the same Madison she ran away from five years ago.”

Mallory notices the way Madison’s demeanor has deflated, how she looks so frustrated and lost. She sighs softly and moves to stand in front of her.

“But you aren’t,” Mallory reminds her.

Madison scoffs. “Aren’t I, though? She left, what else was I supposed to do? For fuck’s sake, Mal. She came to my apartment and I had some girl over.”

Mallory inwardly winces at that, but amends for it by replying, “Yeah, but once you realized this was your second chance, you went for it. You want  _ her, _ we all know that.”

“Zoe doesn’t.”

“Why don’t you tell her that?”

“She wouldn’t even let me get a word in,” Madison snaps, shifting so she’s almost sitting up on the couch. “The way she talked - Jesus, I...Her mind’s made up, Mallory. I’m just always going to be  _ that _ Madison to her.”

Mallory gives her stepsister an empathetic look, trying to find the right words to say, but she doesn’t get a chance to.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Madison says abruptly. “We’re dropping it.”

Mallory lets out a long sigh. She plops down next to Madison on the couch, knowing she won’t be able to push the subject more without Madison exploding on her.

“I’ll order delivery then,” she mumbles, pulling out her phone.

(And it’s clear, despite Madison’s quiet attitude, that she’s grateful for Mallory and her presence.

She doesn’t have to say it, not when Mallory gives her leg a gentle squeeze while they watch TV to remind her it’s okay to feel shitty sometimes.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you noticed i added on another chapter bc surprise! you're getting an epilogue! thanks to everyone who's shown love either here or on tumblr (backtobasicbellas), I appreciate it very much


	4. four

When Cordelia calls Zoe and asks her to come over to dinner, Zoe’s first instinct is to say no.

She dove into compiling her research in the days after she left Madison’s apartment, putting together details reports of the city and outlining more details of her novel. The only person who’s seen her outside of the house - and rarely, at that - is Mallory.

But she hesitates, knowing Cordelia’s invitation is warm and inviting and just so  _ Cordelia _ that Zoe knows it wouldn’t be fair to say no. She hasn’t actually seen Cordelia since she’s been home, anyway. It’d be nice to have dinner with herself and Misty.

And plus, it’s not like Madison even lives with them anymore. She’s got her own place to call home.

(Cordelia isn’t even Madison’s real mother, anyway.)

As if sensing Zoe’s hesitation she adds, “Mallory mentioned she’ll also join us for dinner if you’re coming.”

“I’ll be there,” Zoe promises.

So she closes her laptop for the first time in days and pulls herself out of her chair to look somewhat presentable for this meal. Zoe somewhat hates herself right now. It’s not like she and Madison were even together and yet she’s treating this like some kind of break up - which, if it is, she’s the one who did the breaking up.

But Madison is all she can think about, even when she’s notes deep in her novel research. She thinks about the way Madison couldn’t seem to understand how or why Zoe was pulling away from her.

That’s not what she remembers most, though. She remembers the way Madison laughed without reserve the whole day and how gentle her touch was underneath her bedsheets. She remembers the way Madison was almost reverent with her, how she kissed Zoe’s shoulder blade before dozing off.

Zoe thinks about what it’s like to have Madison in  _ that _ way, but she also remembers what she has waiting for her back in London. New Orleans is just a visit, just a work trip. Zoe would be fooling herself if she were to ever think otherwise.

However, she shakes her head at these thoughts enough to get herself to Cordelia’s house. It takes her back, the drive there. Zoe remembers coming this way after school often, driving by to pick up Mallory on the weekends, letting Madison drive her home after school sometimes, the way of them bickering or singing along to the radio or giving each other quick remarks.

Despite everything, Zoe is smiling when she pulls up the house.

When the door opens, she’s greeted by a grinning Misty and something inside of Zoe relaxes for the first time since she walked out of Madison’s apartment.

“Zoe!” she exclaims, throwing her arms around the brunette. “It’s so good to see ya!”

Zoe smiles wide at that, hugging Misty back just as comfortably as she replies, “It’s great to see you too, Misty.”

“You’ve been away too long,” Misty fusses as she pulls away, ushering Zoe in and closing the door behind her.

Zoe laughs softly, following Misty through the house. “I’ll try to visit more.”

Misty turns around and looks at her with a teasing grin. “Don’t get me too excited, now.”

“Stop giving her a hard time.” 

Zoe hears the voice coming from the kitchen. Turning her head, she sees Cordelia emerge with her smile that Zoe has always found so comforting. Cordelia teasingly smacks Misty on the shoulder before she’s giving Zoe a warm look.

“Hi honey,” she says, wrapping an arm around Zoe. “It’s so good to have you home for a little bit.”

“It feels good to be here,” Zoe replies, and in this moment, it’s not a lie.

For a second, it’s not about Madison and this weird situation they’ve found themselves in. It’s not about her book or the way she feels so many emotions at once too often these days. It’s about being in what she used to consider her second home, with her second family. It’s about how she can smell Misty and Cordelia’s cooking and the way Cordelia’s arm around her feels like a safety net.

“Get yourself settled, darlin’,” Misty encourages with a soft squeeze of Zoe’s shoulder. “Dinner will be ready in a few.”

“Mallory’s on her way,” Cordelia adds.

Zoe smiles at them both before she’s wandering into the living room. It seems like nothing’s changed here; it’s all as Zoe remembers it. The pictures on the walls are mostly the same, the only real additions being photos from Cordelia and Misty’s wedding. She looks at them now, unable to help but beam at just how happy the two of them look. She pauses at a photo of the two brides with Mallory and Madison, all of them smiling and Madison is even hugging Mallory.

It almost makes Zoe laugh, how the four of them are such an odd combination of people. But Zoe knows they’re family, and at the end of the day Cordelia - and now Misty - would do anything to protect the other two.

Zoe’s eyes wander to the next photo and she pauses. It’s a photo she vaguely remembers Mallory taking. Zoe’s got her arm slung around Madison and the two of them are smiling with glasses of wine in their hands, but Madison looks at Zoe in a way that makes Zoe’s stomach turn as she stares at the photo. Contrary to what she told Madison that one night, she remembers this night so vividly. She remembers it all.

“What the fuck.”

Zoe spins around to find Madison close to the bottom of the stands. She stands between two steps, staring at Zoe in disbelief and her arms crossed.

“Madison?”

She’s just as surprised to see Madison as Madison is to see her, and for a moment the two of them are just staring at each other.

“How did you know I was here today?” Madison asks, an underlying snark in her tone.

“I didn’t,” Zoe answers immediately. “Cordelia called me yesterday and asked me to come over for dinner.”

Madison’s jaw sets at the information, clearly thrown off by how Zoe did  _ not _ come because she knew Madison was here. If Madison’s being honest, she kind of wishes Zoe came back for her.

“Hey Zoe, dinner’s ready,” Misty says as she enters the living room. She turns to see Madison at the stairs and smiles - as oblivious as ever. “Madison! You’re just in time. You’re eating with us.”

“Great,” Madison bites.

Misty pops back out of the room leaving the two of them alone again.

A thought then passes through Zoe’s mind.

“You didn’t...tell Cordelia about…?” she trails of because, really, she has no clue how she’d even finish the sentence. 

Madison rolls her eyes. “No, Cordy has no clue we...She has no idea, String Bean.”

(It’s somewhat reassuring in a twisted way that Madison doesn’t quite know how to fill in the blank, either.)

“Oh...um, okay.”

Madison makes her way down the rest of the stairs and begins to walk past Zoe as she mutters, “Let’s just get this shit over with.”

Zoe opens her mouth to say more - to what, apologize? She honestly doesn’t know - but Madison is already stalking her way to the dining room so she only sighs and follows suit.

As they enter the dining room, they can hear the front door open and shut paired with the jingle of keys and footsteps.

“Sorry I’m late,” a breathless Mallory says as she walks into the dining room to join everyone, eyes glued to her phone. “Today was crazy.”

“It’s okay honey, you’re just in time,” Cordelia assures her.

“Great,” Mallory nods in reply. 

She finally looks up at her phone - probably to greet everyone - but her mouth just hangs open for a moment because she spots both Zoe and Mallory with a noticeably awkward space between them as they hover by the dining table.

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight Madison,” Mallory says evenly, looking between the two curiously.

“I was already here,” Madison replies in a borderline snappy tone. “I didn’t know we were having a little reunion tonight.”

“But now we’re all together,” Misty pipes up with a smile. “So let’s eat.”

Mallory’s gaze shifts to Zoe, who gives her a subtle shake of her head.

It’s  _ fine. _ Zoe’s a big girl. So is Madison. This is fine.

Somehow, Misty and Cordelia end up on one side of the table, Mallory sits at the head, and Madison and Zoe manage to be forced to sit next to each other. They share an uncomfortable look before they settle down, focusing on their plates of food rather than each other.

Cordelia and Misty do most of the talking, really. They ask Zoe about London and her novel and basically what they’ve missed out on the last five years. Zoe’s more than happy to answer the questions, to not let the silence sit for too long. She can feel Madison’s silence beside her though, poking at her food and not looking up at all. Mallory, for her part, chimes in when she can, trying to keep the topics light and happy.

“God, you girls are so grown up,” Cordelia sighs towards the end of the meal. She looks between the three of them. “All of you, just...it went by so fast.”

“You know what they say,” Madison mumbles. “Time flies and all that shit.”

“Good one,” Zoe deadpans out of habit.

Madison snorts and rolls her eyes.

Mallory just watches them carefully.

Cordelia smiles at Zoe and Madison across the table, shaking her head as a soft smile falls on her lips. “The two of you used to compete over everything.” 

Madison shrugs. “We’re competitive people.”

“One of us was a sore loser,” Zoe teases.

Madison gives her a look. “Are you trying to say something?”

It’s Zoe’s turn to shrug. “I’m just stating facts.”

“Oh here we go,” Mallory mutters under her breath as she sinks into her seat.

“As if I didn’t let you win most of the time,” Madison scoffs.

“You never let me win!” Zoe gapes. “You just never wanted to admit you actually lost.”

“Girls,” Cordelia tries, noticing the tension between the two of them rising.

Madison glares at Zoe. “Says who?”

“Says everyone who’s ever seen me beat you, obviously.”

“Yeah, right.”

“You never let me win,” Zoe repeats firmly. “If anything, I let  _ you _ win sometimes.”

“Right,” Madison taunts. “Like how you let me win the other night?”

Mallory’s eyes widen, Cordelia’s jaw drops, and Misty is just trying to catch up.

It’s almost eerily silent for a moment, everyone waiting with bated breath to see what Zoe will do.

Zoe stares at Madison for a moment. Her eyes don’t flare up in anger, not at all like how Madison expected. Instead, they grow cold and hard like Madison’s never seen them. Her heart pounds hard against her chest, because Madison has a feeling she’s really done it this time.

“You’re unfucking believable,” Zoe seethes, harshly pushing herself out of her chair.

“Zoe,” Mallory immediately says, also standing as Zoe grabs her things.

Cordelia stands, beginning to make her way around the table. “Zoe, you don’t have to go.”

“I think it’s best,” Zoe tells her, not looking up at all as she turns and starts to walk out of the room.

After watching in somewhat shock, Madison finally stands when it’s clear Zoe’s intent is to leave.

“Zoe, wait. Don’t leave.”

Zoe spins around, looking incredulously at Madison.

“Seriously?” she scoffs. “I should’ve never come back. Clearly nothing’s changed around here.”

“Zoe,” Madison tries again, her name almost coming off like a plea.

“No, I should’ve stayed away,” Zoe says firmly, shaking her head. “Nothing about this has changed, Madison. Especially not you. Everything’s still win or lose with you, isn’t it?”

Everyone in silent for the moment that follows. The air is heavy in the room, and everyone is waiting and watching for what’s next. The three others in the room have learned sometimes it’s better not to get involved when it comes to these two.

Zoe looks at Cordelia and Misty, emotions swimming through her eyes as she manages to say, “I’m sorry I ruined dinner.”

“You didn’t ruin anything honey,” Cordelia promises.

“I should go now,” Zoe continues in a fragile voice. “It was good to see everyone.”

Before anyone else can even think to get a word in, Zoe turns and quickly leaves the house, leaving behind a terrible silence in her place.

* * *

“Cordelia hates me.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Mallory says for what feels like the tenth time.

Zoe looks at her, disbelieving. “I ruined what was supposed to be nice dinner.”

“You didn’t do that alone,” Mallory reminds her. “And plus, we’ve been around you two for years. We know what we get ourselves into.”

Zoe huffs, leaning her head back against the headboard of her bed. She’s silent for a moment before she asks, “Did I overreact?”

_ Like you let me win last night? _

Even the thought of it now makes Zoe’s insides turn. She hates this, hates how everything is a game to Madison.

Mallory’s response breaks her out of her thoughts.

“Someone needs to put Madison in her place. That comment was out of line.”

Zoe knows that Mallory’s found herself in a weird position. Between Zoe and Madison, she’s always been more partial to Zoe because they’re best friends, but Zoe knows as the years go on, the other two have opened up to each other more. They might as well be sisters by blood now, and it somewhat eats at her that she’s somewhat forced Mallory to play the middleman.

“Sorry,” she sighs, running a hand through her hair. “I shouldn’t force you to share your opinion on this. It’s not fair.”

Mallory only shrugs, not looking too bothered. “I love both of you stubborn idiots, and you both need to figure your shit out.”

“I think I need to go back to London,” Zoe admits with a twist of her lips. “I feel like being here can only drag me back to where I used to be. I’m back to being stupidly in love with Madison like I’m in high school or some shit.”

At this, Mallory snorts. “Don’t go all writer bullshit on me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Look,” Mallory says, gaze even with Zoe’s. “Madison’s not perfect, but she’s grown up a lot. Don’t tell me that these past few weeks you haven’t seen it, too. This could work, Zoe.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“You tried.”

Zoe shakes her head. “I’d rather just leave than stay only to find out it doesn’t work for us.”

Mallory frowns. “Zoe.”

Zoe looks at her with those big brown eyes, ones that Madison used to tease her because she looked like a deer in headlights far too often. Something about her expression makes Mallory soften just a little.

This time when Zoe speaks, her voice is soft and vulnerable.

“Madison and I...You know us. Madison’s been in my life forever. She’s a pain in my ass, but she’s...I don’t think I could handle it if we fall apart.”

Instead of trying to talk Zoe into sense - like she so desperately wants to do - Mallory scoots until she’s able to pull Zoe into her arms.

“Oh Zoe,” she sighs dramatically. “You’ve always been a romantic. It’s the writer in you.”

Zoe snorts, despite the mood. “Shut up.”

But Mallory holding her makes her feel like things are going to be okay.

(Zoe knows deep down that is a lie.

She knows what she has to do; she has to go.)

* * *

When Madison walks into Coven’s in the afternoon, Queenie lets out a noise of disbelief from behind the bar.

“Girl you’re here?” Queenie asks in bemused surprised, holding a glass and cloth in her hand. “I haven’t seen you leave your bedroom in days.”

“Fuck off,” Madison almost growls, walking over.

Queenie shrugs. “I’m just saying, Zoe did a number on you, clearly.”

“Can we please not talk about her?” Madison grumbles, reaching out and grabbing the extra cloth off the bar and a glass. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

“A  _ big _ number,” Queenie mumbles under her breath.

“Heard that,” Madison deadpans.

They sit in silence, both of them cleaning glasses in silence. In a few hours from now, Coven’s will be filled with people. Madison will be numbly bartending, serving whatever assholes come in for the night. But for now, it’s just Queenie and Madison in one corner of the bar, and the silence isn’t awful.

(Madison won’t admit that being in someone else’s presence after locking herself in her bedroom is nice.)

“You know,” Queenie says after a few minutes. “I always thought the two of y’all would end up together.”

Madison looks up from the glass she’s cleaning, her gaze looking threateningly close to a glare. Queenie raises an eyebrow at her, as if daring Madison to prove her statement wrong. 

In the end, Madison huffs and goes back to wiping her glass before mumbling, “Whatever.”

“Girl don’t pretend with me,” Queenie scoffs. “You and Zoe have been into each other forever.”

Madison lets out her own scoff and responds, “Yeah well, she fucking hates me now, so.”

“Y’all have always gotten over whatever you fight about,” Queenie points out.

Madison shakes her head, the memory of Zoe’s face that night etched into her mind.

“She’s not getting over this one.”

Queenie pauses, taking a better look at Madison. The defeat that is etched into her features is something that Queenie’s never quite seen in Madison before. Madison Montgomery, for as long as Queenie has known her, has always been the girl who gets what she wants. It makes her a bitch sometimes, this Queenie knows for a fact - and has told Madison multiple times - but honestly, she kind of admires Madison for it. Yet Madison now looks like she’s almost given up.

“And you know what the worst thing is?” Madison adds, placing the glass down on the bar. “The worst thing is that she might be right. I fucked up so bad.”

Queenie lets out a sigh. She’s never quite understood the deeper part of Madison and Zoe’s relationship over the years, but she can tell Madison is clearly upset. Out of all the hook ups and flings Madison has gone back and forth with over the years, the ones that come and go through their apartment, Madison has never been anywhere near as bad as this.

So Queenie puts the cloth down, grabs two glasses and pours both of them a drink.

Madison watches her skeptically and raises an eyebrow. “It’s three in the fucking afternoon.”

“Trust me,” Queenie says, pushing a filled glass towards her. “You need it.”

Madison doesn’t argue with that one.

* * *

Madison is sorting out her dirty laundry on her bedroom floor when her phone rings. It’s almost shrill in the quiet of the apartment. Queenie is down at Coven’s and really, Madison’s just trying to get her life together before she’s pulled away from New Orleans for another shoot.

She considers ignoring it - being alone is her preferred way of spending her days, almost like punishment for everything that she’s done when it comes to her and Zoe - but when she peers over and reads Mallory’s name, she picks up.

“Why are you calling me?”

Madison doesn’t even get a sassy greeting in return like she expects. Instead, it’s  _ “Are you home right now?” _

There’s urgency in her tone. Madison can see her face without having to look, knows there is something on the tip of her tongue, something that’s putting Mallory into overdrive.

“Uh yeah,” she answers. “What’s going on?”

_ “I’m coming to pick you up. I’ll be there in like five.” _

Madison frowns, confused. “What, why? What the fuck is going on, Mal?”

_ “It’s Zoe,” _ Mallory finally says.  _ “She’s on her way to the airport.” _

“What?” Madison questions, clearly thrown off. “Why is she - she’s supposed to be here for another two weeks. What the fuck - why didn’t you say anything?”

_ “I didn’t know!” _ Mallory tells her.  _ “I only found out because she texted me saying she was getting in an uber to the airport. I - just meet me downstairs, okay?” _

Madison looks at her clothes on the floor, then looks at herself in the mirror. Her hair’s up in a messy bun and she’s dressed in the clothes she woke up in still.

“Why am I going?” Madison asks.

Mallory lets out a groan.  _ “Christ Madison, you’re not letting her run away again.” _

“She can run away if she wants,” Madison states, but they both know she doesn’t mean it.

_ “It’s time to prove you’ve grown up.” _

When Madison doesn’t answer, Mallory speaks again.

_ “I’m literally pulling into your street, get your ass downstairs.” _

Madison lets out a huff and mumbles, “Fuck me.”

She’s ditching the clothes on her floor and pulling on a sweatshirt and shoes. She tugs her hair out of the bun and running her hands through her hair as she practically jogs down the stairs of her apartment complex. Mallory’s car is pulled up to the curb when she emerges.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Madison mutters as she slams the passenger door shut.

Mallory hardly even waits for her to get situated in her seat before she’s pulling away from the apartment and practically racing out of the neighborhood.

“Welcome to the club,” Mallory deadpans, eyes not once wandering off the road.

“This isn’t even your business,” Madison points out with a scowl as she slouches in the passenger’s seat.

Mallory snorts. “Uh yeah, it is. I’m tired of watching Zoe run from whatever deal it is the two of you have going on and you letting her.”

“You can’t make me say anything to her.”

Mallory offers a side eye as she asks, “So you want her to leave?”

Madison huffs, leaning roughly against the back of her seat.

“Thought so,” Mallory mumbles.

Madison broods quietly as Mallory drives, the sound of Mallory’s music the only noise between them for awhile. Madison opts to look out her window for most of the ride, hardly even touching her phone. She thinks about Zoe making her way through the airport, ready to just leave Madison behind all over again without another word.

As they get closer to the airport, she barely notices the way her fingers tap along the interior. She doesn’t notice the way Mallory glances at her every few seconds, wondering if she should speak.

“What do I even say to her?” Madison finally asks when the airport sign comes into view.

“Tell her what you’ve haven’t all these years,” Mallory responds like it’s the most simple thing in the world. “You guys have been doing this dance for so long. She’s leaving because she cares too much about you - you have to know that, don’t you?”

Madison doesn’t offer a response. Instead, she mulls over Mallory’s words.

When they approach the airport, Madison finds herself eager to get out, eager to find Zoe and tell her just how  _ stupid _ she’s behind right now. She leans forward in her seat, hand on the car door.

“I’ll bring you up to the entrance,” Mallory tells her. “Find her while I park.”

Madison nods, but she doesn’t even spare her step-sister a glance. Instead, she’s eyeing the cars in front of them, waiting for her chance to hop out.

“Hey.”

Madison turns when she feels Mallory grip her wrist. Mallory looks at her with confidence and certainty that Madison doesn’t quite understand.

“Go get the girl Mads,” Mallory tells her with a soft squeeze.

Madison offers the slightest of smiles before she’s practically jumping out of Mallory’s car and doing her best not to full out sprint.

Everything around her feels like a blur; Madison’s making her way through the airport on a fast-walk-borderline-jog. Anything that registers as not Zoe is quickly forgotten, her head practically on a swivel. She’s on a mission to find this damned brunette whether Zoe likes it or not.

“Where the fuck…” she mumbles to herself, beginning to wonder if she’s even in the right terminal.

Or maybe, Zoe’s already made her way to her gate.

That thought makes Madison’s stomach drop, desperation beginning to reach the surface. She’s about to march up to one of the employees when she spots her - a brunette in an oversized sweater and a book peeking out of her backpack.

Classic.

“Zoe!”

It’s loud, almost harsh like a bark. Her voice turns a few heads to turn, but Madison doesn’t even register anything but the way a startled Zoe Benson jumps ever so slightly at the sound of her name. She turns to find a frantic and determined Madison stomping towards her with purpose.

“Madison?” she asks, confusion clouding her features.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Zoe frowns. “I’m flying back to - wait, what the hell are you doing here?”

Madison scoffs, coming to a stop when she’s finally in front of Zoe. “Stopping your dumb ass from leaving.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Zoe says in an exasperated tone. “I still have to get through security.”

“I’m serious,” Madison insists, her voice firm. “Don’t go.”

“Madison,” Zoe sighs.

There’s the sound of the sole of shoes hitting the floor hard and fast, and the two of them turn to see Mallory sprinting towards them.

“Zoe,” she breathes out when she skids to a stop, placing her hands on her knees for support. “Just listen to her.” 

Zoe stares at Mallory for a moment, mouth slightly hanging open. The look on her best friend’s face is urgent, and Zoe puts together quickly that Mallory’s the one who managed to get Madison here.

(She hates and loves her for it all the same.)

With another sigh, Zoe turns to Madison again.

“Why are you here, Madison?”

“I’m not letting you leave,” Madison repeats, shaking her head. “You’re not doing this again.”

Zoe opens her mouth, but for a moment nothing comes out. She just stares at Madison, unsure how they’ve found themselves here. There is so much to unpack between them, so many words unsaid and memories never fully rehashed. She thinks about the day after Cordelia’s wedding, how she accepted her enrollment for grad school in London, how she didn’t tell anyone but Mallory and eventually Cordelia.

She thinks about coming back, how Madison wrapped her around her finger like she always did in her charming way. She thinks about the way Madison had her hooked the whole time, how every smile and every look warms Zoe like she’s home. 

But the Madison’s words are ringing in her ears, the ones spoken at Cordelia’s dining room table. She thinks about Madison and her games and how she doesn’t stop until she gets what she wants and then she moves on.

Zoe looks at her helplessly, unsure of how else to respond.

“You got what you wanted,” she shrugs. “You - You got it already, and I got what I needed for my novel and I have to go back now. Everything is waiting for me in London.”

“Stay,” Madison requests, her voice softer than it was when she first arrived. “You and I...we…”

Zoe shakes her head, a grimace on her lips. “Nothing changes around here, Madison.”

Madison takes a step forward, Zoe doesn’t move.

“I fucked up the other night,” Madison admits. “Fuck, Zoe, you always know how to push my buttons and somehow I always seem to say the wrong thing, especially when I have something so, so important to tell you.”

Zoe tries not to let herself be amused at this, at the way Madison is cursing at her while she tries to get her to stay.

Madison lets out a breath, and god, she knows this is about to be some dumb, sappy shit, but she’s tired of the cycle she goes through with Zoe time and time again. She knows what she wants, and what she wants is currently about to get on a plane to London with no return date.

“I want to be with you, Zoe,” Madison says. “These past few weeks - I’ve wanted this for so long. Having you back here - being with you - makes it so easy for me to fall over again.”

She chuckles - mostly out of nerves or because she absolutely hates sharing her feelings - and looks right at Zoe as she says, “I love you, nerd. I’ve been in love with you. It’s never -  _ you _ have never been a game to me.”

Zoe looks at her for a moment, taking in everything about this scene. Her ears are ringing and she doesn’t know if it’s from lack of sleep or because she has day dreamed of Madison saying something along those lines to her time and time again. She shakes her head at the pure ridiculousness of it all, her eyes shining with about five different emotions at once.

“All this time you never said anything, and it’s not until I’m about to get on a plane to London, you finally want to say it.”

Madison shakes her head, a hint of a smiling hiding behind her lips. “I’ve been trying to tell you since you came back,” she explains. “You think I cook dinner for Mallory all the time?”

“She doesn’t,” Mallory pipes up from behind Madison, a subtle reminder that she’s still there.

Madison offers Mallory an eye roll before she turns her attention back to Zoe.

“Please Zoe,” she says, her request sounding close to a beg now. “Stay with me.”

Madison knows she has no cards left to play. She’s saved everything up until this moment, and she knows now that if she loses Zoe now, there won’t be anything else left to do besides look back at everything she could’ve done differently.

Zoe watches her for a moment, her jaw working ever so slightly. Madison knows this look on Zoe, knows it’s one where she’s thinking particularly hard, trying to sort out all the different possibilities or trying to figure out which emotions matter the most.

She just can’t remember a time her stomach has been twisting in knots as Zoe looks at her like this.

After what seems like forever, Zoe takes a step forward, putting her that much closer to Madison. There is something different in her eyes now, something that makes Madison’s chest tighten in anticipation.

“You have been the biggest pain in my ass all these years,” she says, a smile beginning to show. “But I’ve loved you since the start, you brat.”

Madison’s features visibly light up at the words, and a moment of disbelief runs through her system. She doesn’t have much time to dwell on it though because Zoe pulls her forward and kisses her soundly.

There is no hesitation in the way Zoe kisses her. It is not excited and eager and hungry like it was in Madison’s apartment. It is not sloppy and shy like at Cordelia’s wedding. No, the way Zoe kisses her is sure and steady, like this is anchoring them down for what’s to come. Madison matches her pace, making sure Zoe knows that this isn’t just a  _ thing _ or a temporary feeling; she needs her to know that this is it.

They are only pulled apart by the sound of a single clap and Mallory’s voice.

“Okay!” Mallory says loudly. “I’m super happy that my best friend and step-sister are  _ finally _ together, but this PDA is too much for me right now.”

“Oh fuck off Mal,” Madison says, rolling her eyes.

Mallory responds by giving her the finger.

Zoe only laughs, the sound of it making Madison smile. She leans down and presses a kiss to Madison’s forehead before reaching down to intertwine their fingers and give Madison’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Come on nerd,” Madison grins, her eyes shining at Zoe. “Let’s get you home.”

Zoe’s smile widens in response as she lets Madison tug her along, the two of them following Mallory back to her car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone for the support - don't forget we still have an epilogue to go ;)


	5. epilogue

Zoe’s just flown back from London, where her publisher hosted a soft release party for her book that’s now almost two years in the making. She had tried to bring Madison along, but the girl had booked another photoshoot in Los Angeles.

It’s not necessarily a long distance relationship - not _ really. _ Zoe’s publisher hadn’t put up much of a fight when Zoe said she’d be staying in New Orleans permanently. Skype sessions, plenty of phone calls, and countless of email threads had been exchanged, but for the most part the whole process was pretty easy.

Her publisher did require her to fly out to London a few times for meetings and pitches from time to time, and though she’d been able to bring Madison a handful of trips, Madison does have her own life. She just wrapped on a short limited edition Netflix show and has been doing sporadic photoshoots when they come up.

They make it work; they always have and always do - it’s kind of just their thing.

But being away from Madison only makes Zoe miss her more. Don’t get her wrong - Madison is just as much of a pain in the ass as she’s always been, and she’s still ever so competitive, but soothing over quarrels and bickering is so much better when Madison kisses her sweetly and is waiting for her under the covers of _ their _ bed in _ their _ apartment they bought together almost half a year ago.

She recognizes Mallory’s car almost immediately, face lighting up at the sight of her best friend.

“Sorry I’m not Madison,” Mallory teases as she pulls Zoe in for a hug.

Zoe laughs, hugging her back firmly. “I’m happy to see you too, you know.”

Mallory grins widely. “Yeah, yeah, best friends and all that.” She tosses Zoe’s luggage in her trunk, giving her a slightly concerned look. “Are you sure you want to go to this? You just got back from London.”

Zoe waves her off, already making her way to the passenger side of the car as she replies, “I forced myself to sleep on the plane. Queenie and Coco are way too excited about this anyway.”

Mallory shakes her head endearingly at Zoe before hopping back into her car. As she begins to drive to Coven’s, where they’ll be having a release party for Zoe’s book, Mallory notices the way Zoe begins to fidget.

“Is it what we talked about on the phone the other day?” Mallory asks quietly, trying not to push the subject too much in fear of Zoe freaking out.

To her surprise, Zoe merely nods.

“Mhmm,” she hums in confirmation. Zoe is silent for a moment and then, “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“It’s a big deal,” Mallory agrees. “But you don’t have to make a decision right away, you know. Just...when it feels right, go for it.”

Zoe smiles nervously at Mallory. “You’re right.”

“Always am,” Mallory deadpans.

Zoe laughs, letting her head fall back against the seat. “You’re sounding too much like Madison these days.”

“Hey!” Mallory gapes. “Don’t forget who finally dragged both of your asses together.”

“You never let us forget,” Zoe jabs.

Mallory scoffs. “Damn right.”

But they’re both bursting into a fit of laughter as the scenery of New Orleans whizzes by them. Zoe wonders how there was ever a time she would consider anywhere else home.

When Mallory pulls up to the curb of Coven’s, Zoe feels a familiar feeling settling in. It’s almost like two years ago, when it was supposed to be nothing more than just a visit. Except this time, Zoe knows who she’ll find inside.

“I can’t believe they’re doing this all for me,” she muses as they get out of the car.

Mallory nudges her playfully and replies, “It’s not every day our favorite writer publishes her first novel.”

Zoe merely rolls her eyes at the comment, still not quite used to being in the spotlight. That’s always been more Madison’s thing.

“Come on,” Mallory says, tugging her along. “Everyone’s here for you.”

Zoe obliges, her stomach filled with excitement and anticipation. As they push the doors open, cheers erupt when everyone recognizes her.

Queenie shut the entire bar down for this specific event - which Zoe insisted to pay for but Queenier refused even a dollar. There’s a banner hanging down across the ceiling that reads _ CONGRATULATIONS ZOE, _ and copies of her novel are scattered in piles throughout the bar. Almost everyone has a drink in hand and there are so many smiling faces that Zoe almost has to pinch herself.

She has dreamed of publishing a novel for so long, had wanted it so bad.

Now she’s here, doing it right where everything for her started.

(Zoe loves the symbolism in this; it’s the writer in her.)

“Finally, String Bean!”

Zoe is quickly being pulled into a hug, but she doesn’t mind at all because she immediately recognizes Madison’s scent and her arms around her waist. Zoe wraps her arms around Madison easily, placing a kiss on her temple.

“Miss me?” she teases with a grin.

“God don’t be a smart ass,” Madison scoffs as she looks up at her.

“It’s that British sense of humor,” Zoe smirks.

Madison snorts. “Nerd,” she says before she leans in and kisses Zoe sweetly.

Zoe kisses her back, for a moment forgetting that they’re in the middle of a bar with all their friends and family. All she knows is the way Madison’s lips fit against hers and how still, even now, her knees buckle at the slightest when Madison kisses her this way.

“You two are so annoying.”

That’s enough to get Zoe to pull away, laughing as she opens her eyes to see Mallory making a face at them with Coco nudging her and telling Mallory to leave them alone.

Madison sighs dramatically, dropping her hands from Zoe’s waist as she tells her, “I guess I’ll let everyone else talk to you too.”

Zoe shakes her head with a smile. “Yeah, didn’t miss me at all you brat.”

“Shut it.”

Zoe makes her rounds, taking in all the “congratulations” and “this is so amazing” and “i’m so proud of you”s as she goes. It’s weird being the center of attention, but she can’t say she doesn’t hate it. The past two years have felt equally as quick as they were long and strenuous as this novel came together.

At some point, Zoe is being swept into Cordelia’s embrace and she lets the older woman hold her for a moment, reveling in the way she can feel the love in Cordelia’s touch. She has always been like a second mother to Zoe, and she’s so glad that Cordelia has been able to see what Zoe’s done.

“You’ve dreamed of this for so long,” Cordelia fawns, pulling away to meet Zoe’s gaze. “And now it’s finally here.”

Zoe nods along in somewhat of a daze. “I really can’t believe it.”

“Well believe it honey,” Cordelia tells her, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Zoe’s ear. “You deserve this, all of it.”

The proud look she gives Zoe is enough for the brunette to lurch forward and hug Cordelia again. She loves her mother, she really does, but Cordelia has always come right behind her with her support and non-judgement and all around big heart. Zoe might as well be another one of her children, too.

“Hate to break up the love fest, but our writer’s _ real _ mother is looking for her.”

Cordelia chuckles softly, pulling away from Zoe to find Madison there, drink in hand and a hip cocked. “Thank you, Madison.”

Zoe rolls her eyes, but she smiles as she gives Madison’s hand a squeeze and says, “I’ll be right back.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Madison tells her. “It’s your night, String Bean.”

Zoe beams at her, giving Cordelia a wave before she wanders off to find her mother.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think she’s the one you took care of for a few years,” Madison lightly teases, joining Cordelia at her table.

Cordelia laughs, giving Madison a look. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous now. Most days you never wanted me in your business.”

Madison only winces, taking a sip of her drink before she replies, “We get it. I was a complete brat in high school.”

“I would extend that to the first few years of college too.”

Madison scoffs. “Hey!” she says, nudging Cordelia gently.

Cordelia laughs again, an arm coming around Madison’s shoulders as she says, “I wouldn’t trade you for the world, Madison. You might as well be my child by birth. Both you and Mallory.”

When it finally seems like Zoe has a moment to breathe without anyone approaching her, she quietly escapes outside, where no one else is. It’s kind of colder now as winter begins to settle in, but Zoe finds herself enjoying after being in London for a few days.

This is her first moment alone since she landed so she revels in it for a moment. She takes a breath, letting everything sink in since she hasn’t been able to do that just yet.

“Is it too much?”

Zoe turns around and finds Madison standing by the door, a knowing smirk on her lips and a twinkle in her eye. The sight of her makes Zoe smile, reminds her that yes, this _ is _ her reality.

“No, it’s all so great,” she immediately says, shaking her head. “I just needed a second...you know, to take it all in.”

Madison snorts at this, shaking her head as she slowly approaches. “You’ve always been so damn sappy.”

“You like it sometimes,” Zoe points out knowingly.

“You better not be telling people that,” Madison threatens, but the corner of her lips are turned up.

Zoe only chuckles in response, reaching out for Madison’s hands. “Missed you, Mads.”

“Stop going to London then,” Madison deadpans, letting her hands slip into Zoe’s without hesitation.

Zoe opts to intertwine their fingers together, like she often does. Movements like these are almost second nature to them now, like their bodies move on autopilot after being apart for a few days. Madison takes in all of Zoe right now, how she’s been beaming all night. She wonders if Zoe knows just how proud of Madison is.

“You know I’ll always come back.”

And it’s the truth now, they both know.

“Yeah,” Madison murmurs, biting her lip. “You always do.”

The way Zoe smiles at her makes Madison’s chest warm like everything is still brand new. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get over this feeling when it comes to Zoe. She leans in and kisses her girlfriend softly to let her know.

She pulls away after a moment, her eyes still fluttering open as she says, “I’m so proud of you, Zoe.”

Zoe’s eyes are still closed. She wears a dazed expression, but it’s clear she hears Madison. Her eyes open slowly and her lips slowly curve into a quiet smile that Madison loves.

“I love you,” she tells Madison quietly, and there is no doubt.

For now, it’s like they are in their own world. There is no party inside of Coven’s and Zoe’s life has not been a constant whirlwind of writing and editing and signing papers. Madison has not been off to photoshoot and TV sets. Right now, they are here, together, and that is more than enough.

“I love you too, String Bean.”

“I’m glad,” Zoe teases, a playful grin on her face. “I brought you back something from London.”

Madison raises her eyebrows, letting Zoe’s hands slip out of her own. “I swear to god Zoe, if it’s a dumb key chain of Big Ben…”

Her comment makes Zoe laugh, shaking her head as she reaches into her back pocket.

“I promise you it’s not that.”

“Good, guess I won’t break up with you then,” Madison announces with a smirk.

Zoe chuckles - a bit nervously, Madison notices - as she brings her hands back out in front of her.

“I really hope you don’t,” she admits, pulling a box open in her hands.

Madison’s eyes widen and she’s pretty sure her jaw hangs dumbly from the rest of her face. She’s staring at a ring preciously held inside of a box that Zoe holds. She looks back up to meet Zoe’s gaze and the brunette is looking at her with plenty of apprehension but also a hint of excitement hides behind her eyes.

“Marry me?” Zoe asks breathlessly. 

Zoe is tired and jet lagged and slightly overwhelmed by it all, but nothing else matters when Madison - who for once in her life is unable to find a snarky comment or flirtatious quip - is nodding her head aggressively as she swallows a lump in her throat.

It’s exhilarating, the way she’s being wrapped up in Madison’s arms tightly. She wraps her arms around Madison quickly to steady both of them, still clutching the box with the ring in her hands. Madison’s face is pressed into her neck and she can feel the way Madison breathes against her skin. Zoe kisses the top of her head sweetly.

“What the fuck,” Madison says out loud, a laugh accompanying her comment. She pulls away from Zoe’s neck to looks at her, eyes wild and bright. “This is supposed to be your night.”

Zoe shakes her head, unable to wipe the grin off her face as she replies, “It still is. This is the best part.”

“God you’re such a nerd,” Madison sighs with a roll of her eyes, but she lets Zoe giddily slid the ring on her finger anyway, unable to take her eyes off of it.

They both admire it for a moment, Zoe still holding Madison’s hand up. Neither of them can quite believe it’s real, this thing happening right now.

After a beat Madison says, “You beat me to it, you know.”

“What?” Zoe asks, looking up at her again.

Madison shrugs, all nonchalant. “There’s a ring at home in the very back of the last drawer of my dresser.”

Zoe gapes at this new information, eyes widening in a comical manner. “When did you get that?”

“While you were gone,” Madison answers casually, but her smirk gives away just how much she’s eating this up. “I was going to propose this week.”

Zoe’s mind is still spinning at the fact Madison had the exact same idea as she did, that there is a ring in their bedroom waiting for her. However, she manages to recover on the outside, wearing a shit-eating grin.

“Looks like I won this one,” she announces in a playful tone.

Madison laughs softly, shaking her head. She looks at Zoe like she puts the stars in the sky, and it’s a feeling that Zoe will never get over. She knows she dreamed of Madison looking at her in this way for so long, was so starved for the girl’s attention growing up.

“Yeah, guess you did,” Madison agrees before leaning up and letting her lips meet Zoe’s.

There is something new about the way they kiss tonight. This time, they both know there is a clear future ahead of them, that whatever comes after this they’ll be together. There is an eagerness behind each of them, a new thrill of being _ engaged _ that is taking over. Zoe kisses Madison not only to tell her how much she misses her, but that she is sure in her decision. There’s no more running away or trying to outdo each other; they’re in this together.

And maybe it turns into a makeout session outside of their friend’s bar, but neither really mind.

“Jesus, you really couldn’t wait to do this in your apartment?”

Mallory’s voice brings them back to their surroundings, Madison is turning her head to roll her eyes at Mallory before giving Zoe one last, lingering kiss.

“Ugh,” Mallory groans.

Zoe only laughs, wrapping her arms around Madison tightly. She turns to Mallory with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry,” she says sheepishly.

“You are so lucky tonight is about you,” Mallory grumbles. “People are looking for you, you know.”

“I had business to take care of,” Zoe informs her, unable to hide her smile.

“You mean practically about to fuck your girlfriend out on the streets of New Orleans?” Mallory questions with a snort.

Madison raises an eyebrow and says, “Not girlfriend.”

Mallory makes a face at her. “What?”

Zoe only grins as Madison smirks, throwing up literally only her ring finger.

Mallory opens her mouth to speak - probably something along the lines of “fuck you too, Madison” - but for a moment her mouth just hangs open as she squints at the ring, realization dawning on her face.

“Holy fuck you proposed,” she finally says, eyes wide and turning to Zoe. “You did it.”

“Yeah,” Zoe nods, still unable to keep the grin off her face. “I did.”

Madison drops her hand, quirking an eyebrow at her step sister. “You knew?”

Mallory shrugs. “Who do you think she called to help pick out the ring, dummy?”

Madison can’t help but soften at that, and for a moment she feels an immense sense of gratitude for how far they’ve come, that years later and Zoe is here with her in her arms as her _ fiancé. _

“Come on,” Zoe says, a hand coming to the small of Madison’s back. “We have a party to get back to.”

“Do not go around telling people about this,” Madison instructs Mallory. “We’ll tell them.”

Mallory shrugs, now smirking. “Sure, sis. Happiness looks good on you, you know.”

Madison snorts, reaching out and giving Mallory a playful shove when she’s in reach. Mallory responds by pulling both her and Zoe into a hug.

“Love you both,” she hums happily.

“Get off of me freak,” Madison laughs.

“Love you Mal,” Zoe says at the same time.

Mallory pulls back and beams at them before turning back around and immersing herself back into the crowd.

“We don’t have to tell people right now,” Madison says to Zoe. “Not if you don’t want to.”

Zoe only smiles knowingly as she replies, “Cordelia’s going to say she saw it all along.”

Madison rolls her eyes, pulling Zoe along. “Guess we’ll start with her then.”

Zoe lets herself be led by Madison around Coven, unable to look away from their hands intertwined, Madison’s ring shining on her finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. Thank you to everyone who has been reading along and to those who have left comments. You can find me yelling about something (or going radio silent for 2 weeks bc life) on tumblr at backtobasicbellas


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